10 Things Friends Should Never Share

1. How great your boyfriend is in bed.

Loose lips sink relation-ships.  Although he may be the reason you’re skipping to the Starbucks counter in the morning, it’s not necessary to give your gal pal the deets on exactly what’s making your toes curl.  You just never know when someone’s curiosity may get the best of them.  That’s not to say you shouldn’t feel free to spill the beans about how great your sex life is, but put nothing past no one.  It’s enough to convey he’s handling his business –period.  You never know who might want to sample the goods after hearing rave reviews.

2. Your ATM pin.

Asking her to run to grab some quick cash to tip the nail technician in the middle of your mani/pedi may land you a gig as a plaintiff on the next episode of The People’s Court.  I’ve seen enough episodes of Judge Judy to know one thing:  Giving someone your bank pin is basically giving them permission to “borrow” your hard-earned money.  There are not too many people I trust enough for them to have access to my personal finances.  You never know when a situation may turn sour and someone may get sticky fingers all in your personal checking account.  ATM pins and most passwords should be kept confidential.

3. Undergarments.

Your Valentino thong sandals are one thing, your Victoria’s Secret lace thong panties are something completely different.  Before you start thinking, “Where they do that at?” keep in mind that I wouldn’t include it on the list if I haven’t heard of it happening.  It isn’t called intimate apparel for nothing.   Your underwear serve the purpose of keeping your clothes protected from bodily fluids like vaginal discharge.  Besides risking your personal hygiene, by borrowing underwear you may be putting yourself at risk for contagious infections.  Pubic lice and scabies are two of the many STI’s that can be passed through simply sharing infected clothing or linen.  (Other things that shouldn’t be shared in a friendly affair for your hygiene’s sake: deodorant, toothbrushes and razors.)

4. Your signature scent.

This morning I found myself watching the poor man’s version of Single White Female also known as 2011’s The Roommate.  After chalking up my five dollars as a lesson learned mid-movie, I caught a scene in which Leighton Meester’s character attempts to seduce her roommate’s ex-boyfriend by passing herself off as said roommate. She rocks her signature fedora and sprays on a bit of her perfume totally fooling the boyfriend into believing that she is the roommate.  Hopefully your man cares enough to open his eyes and makes sure he’s having sex with you and not your doppelgänger, but it brought up an interesting point:  Your scent truly is your signature.  When you’ve found a perfume that suits you it truly speaks to your personality and it’s important that you and your bestie aren’t sending the same scent signal.

5. The sensitive things he says when no one’s around.

I’m willing to bet that the sweet letter he wrote about how he rehearsed what he would say before he met you wasn’t meant to be recited to a group of your girls.  There are certain intimate details of a relationship that should be left that way, and revealing those things to your friends may cause them to look at him in a completely different light which can sometimes be a bad thing.  It can make a family fun night of cocktails and Wii turn awkward with the slip of one word. My sister best explained it to me this way, “I can’t sit across the dinner table while your man is eating ribs and think about him…doing that…to you.”  Point taken.

6. Your makeup…especially mascara.

Brushes, eyeshadow and powder compacts are just a few cosmetic products that act as breeding grounds for bacteria.  Mascara is the worst culprit quickly becoming one of the germiest items in your makeup bag as soon as it is opened.  Invest in your own Maybelline Great Lash; friends don’t give friends pink eye.

7. Ex-boyfriends.

It’s all fun and games until you find out she’s met his older sister (and you didn’t even know he had an older sister).  As much as you may think you’re over it, moving past a failed relationship is even more difficult when your friend is flaunting your ex in your face.  This is a recipe for resentment and any friend worth her weight will want more for herself than your picked apart leftovers.

8. Your credit and driving record.

T-Mobile makes putting another phone on your plan seem so simple, until your bestie reveals she’s cancelling her contract and leaving you for Verizon (and leaving you with the expensive cancellation fee).  Imagine how you might feel learning your friend hasn’t been paying the note on the new car you co-signed for or ran up hundreds of dollars in tickets when you let her hold your mid-sized sedan that week you were away on business.  $15.00 to cover her half of dinner is one thing, otherwise friends and big item finances don’t mix.  The only one that should be screwing up you credit score is you.

9. Every blowup between you and your boyfriend.

But who else are you supposed to vent to when he tells you that he’s not going to your awards luncheon because it falls on Superbowl Sunday?  It’s OK to complain about the few times your man’s jerky side rears its ugly head, but it could come back to bite you if all your friends ever hear about is how he mistreats you.  You can’t
complain when they tell you to move on if all they ever hear about is how bad of a boyfriend he is.

10. Your “moment”.

Your recent promotion to executive assistant.  Your first pregnancy.  His proposal and/or your wedding day.  Every girl has those moments that define who she is or changes her life majorly in some way.  While everyone is making toasts in your honor, what you shouldn’t have to look forward to is an interruption from your best friend starting with, “I remember when something similar happened to me.”  Friends let friends shine, and a good friend is happy to see her bestie get the spotlight, without feeling the need to pull a Beyonce (I love you stans!) and grab for the glory.