8 "Little" Things Couples Fight About That Are Big Issues

Some little fights are just that: small, meaningless and fleeting. But sometimes when it seems like you and your partner are just fighting about the basics (laundry, your schedules, anniversary gifts), you’re fighting about much more. Here are eight “little” fights couples have that aren’t so miniscule after all.

Sleeping Habits 

You probably argue plenty about sleep patterns. Maybe your partner wants more blankets on the bed than you do, or he won’t let you use your white noise machine, or maybe he uses multiple alarm clocks in the morning. If someone in a relationship is struggling to sleep because of the other person, that could cause significant strife.

What you’re really fighting about

When you don’t sleep well, nothing goes right in your day. A bad night’s rest can affect your work habits and career, your social life, and even your health. If your partner doesn’t adjust his sleeping habits for you, then you feel as though he’s holding you back.

Getting too drunk with his friends

You get pissed at your partner for getting wasted every Saturday night with his buddies. You’re resentful of him, cold and passive-aggressive when he returns. You make fun of him and tell him he looks stupid when he’s drunk.

What you’re really fighting about

Getting too drunk Saturday night probably means he’s too hung over to do the things you’d planned as a couple for Sunday. It seems like he cares more about having fun and being in the moment than committing to plans you have together. You feel as though he chooses his friends over you every time.

What movie to watch

You want to watch something inspiring because you’ve been feeling less than motivated lately. Your partner wants to watch something stupid silly because he’s had a rough day and wants to laugh.

What you’re really fighting about

A movie really can change one person’s night. But that’s the thing—one person. If each of you had drastically different days, you need totally different movies to get out of your funk. If you always end up watching what your partner wants, it might feel like his emotions and issues take precedence in the house.

Staying in or going out

You don’t understand why your partner has to go to every party or bar crawl the two of you are invited to check out. You don’t think those things sound fun. You want to stay in the house.

What you’re really fighting about

Subconsciously you might wonder, “Am I not enough? Is being with me not entertaining enough? Shouldn’t he lose the urge to party all of the time now that he’s in love and settled down? Doesn’t he want alone time with me?”

How to spend money

You tell your partner he spends money irresponsibly after he buys a new TV without telling you.

What you’re really fighting about

You know what his bank account looks like, and now that he bought that new TV he can’t afford to do date night with you this week. You feel like the way he spends his money indicates how important you are to him.

Watching the show you both love, by yourself

Your partner is furious with you because you watched two episodes of your couple’s show, solo. You’re thinking, “It’s just a show. He can catch up to me, and we can watch the next few episodes together.”

What you’re really fighting about

Your partner feels left out when you do things without him that you know he enjoys. He wants to ask, “Why am I here then?”

Someone is working too hard

You’re constantly telling your partner that his boss is unfair and that he needs to stand up to him. You feel that he’s overworked and not saying or doing anything about it.

What you’re really fighting about

You’re worried that your partner is choosing work over you, and that he always will. You’re probably envisioning family trips that will have to be cancelled at the last minute because your partner couldn’t put his work aside for a few days.

He won’t come with you to a seminar

You want your partner to go with you to a seminar on starting your own clothing boutique or being a travel journalist. He simply says, “I’m not interested in that. Can’t you go alone?” You’re furious.