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It’s not easy to be a guy. Women can be wary of even the nicest of men. But for that reason, fellas, you need to know that these moves—the ones you don’t think are aggressive—are freaking your date out. Even if you’re looking for a serious relationship, making these first date mistakes can make you seem sleazy and super suspect.
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You point out her looks immediately
She arrives on the date, and the first thing you do is appear floored. You decide to go on and on about how attractive she is and how great she looks in her dress. Put your tongue away. You think she’s hot. She gets it already.
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And you point them out a lot
But you don’t stop. You mention her looks throughout the date. You’re trying to flatter her, but you interrupt her stories to mention how attractive she is. You make her feel like you’re only interested in her looks and taking her home.
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And you call her “sexy”
Women equate “sexy” with “I want to have sex with you right now,” especially if you say it in a creepy way. Save that for another date down the line when you know each other better and the both of you feel sexually compatible.
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You want to know about her party days
When she casually mentions, “The wild old days” you raise your eyebrows and say, “Tell me more…” She wants you to like the new, mature and calm version of her—not the college version.
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And her lesbian phase
Being honest about her dating history, she mentions that she once casually dated a woman. Again, you pull out those creepy raised eyebrows and say, “Tell me more…”
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You encourage her to drink
You may just want her to know that she can feel safe around you and should feel free to have fun, but she thinks you’re trying to take advantage of her.
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You say something about “getting lucky”
In reference to meeting her dog one day or seeing the cool painting she talked about that’s hanging in her room, you say, “Maybe I’ll see it one day…if I get lucky.” No. Just no.
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You agree with everything she says
She knows you don’t agree with everything she says, but if you look like you do, she assumes you’re just trying to get in her pants.
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Repeatedly going for the kiss
It’s obvious that you are desperately looking for a chance to kiss her. Look, she knows you want to kiss her, and if she wants that, you won’t miss your window.
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You say you’d like to see her place
Maybe you say this because the décor or the view sounds cool based on how she’s described it, but all she thinks is “creep!”
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You talk about a weekend getaway
You speak of some theoretical weekend away you two could take down the line, but all she hears is, “Let’s go bang for 48 hours.”
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You go for a make out session
A kiss on a first date is totally acceptable. But going for a full on make out session makes her feel like you want more.
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Asking if she “likes” some woman
Your date compliments another woman’s dress or hair and as a joke you ask, “Are you into her?” Now she thinks you want a threesome.
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Taking the lead while dancing
It’s cute that you want to dance with your date. But don’t brush your lips over her neck and grind your pelvis against hers. Even if you’re a great dancer, just let her dictate how you dance on the first date.
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Getting the server on your side
The server compliments you or says that you’re polite, and you take the opportunity to say to your date, “See…our server thinks I’m good news.” Your date wasn’t doubting that, but now that you’re fishing for compliments, she is.
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