Do you feel the walls caving in on you at work because you refuse to say no? Bosses and coworkers alike, are flying off the cuff simply because your receptive to their every command. They can read you as easily as a dog detects a human’s vulnerability because they think of you as a pushover. Now, how can you speak up without losing your job? Being assertive doesn’t necessarily mean that you have to be pompous or rude to others, but it shows you can voice your opinion, thus, gaining integrity in the long run.
Here’s how to be more direct to your peers:
1. Avoid being apologetic
One way to straighten up to your peers is to avoid saying, “I’m sorry” for everything to do. You can forget about getting the upper hand with this submissive approach: “It’s my fault, not yours” or “I will repay you” because it yields to the other’s unjust behavior or actions. By being overly apologetic you are painting yourself as the problem, making you more of a liability to the company or organization.
2. Look people directly in the eye
Do you remember that piercing look your mother gave you as a child? That overwhelming gaze probably still resonates with you today because it sent a firm message that if you broke the rule twice, you’d be held accountable for it. The same rule applies in how you deal with co-workers. All it takes is one stare to determine who’s boss.
3. Outwardly position yourself as nice, but strong-willed
Having a strong demeanor and self-confidence goes a long way, especially in working relationships. Signs of strength, communication with a bit of personality makes you come across as a confident person in a room full of powerful leaders. The ultimate liability on your part is letting others have control over you with a lack of self-esteem. An odd posture, folded arms, or a bowed head confirms that you’re not as strong-willed as they come.
4. Don’t call everyone your “true” friends
Trusting everyone you come into contact isn’t necessarily a good thing. In fact, bad friends linger just as much as good friends which can turn you into an unassuming target. Not everyone of course, is equipped to discern who their friends are, including co-workers you think are loyal and trustworthy. Don’t always give in to what someone says because of their position, and ask questions first to gain an idea of who they are.
5. Outsmart your critics
Working your way up the ladder is far from smooth sailing. Many employees have an opportunistic approach to getting ahead in the corporate world which involves strategy, smarts and wit. These are areas you must succeed in so that you don’t end up getting the short end of the stick. Being able to outsmart members of your team with practical business sense will make you more valuable.
6. Clearly state what you think and how you feel
If you’ve been disrespected or hurt at work, don’t just let it ride. Making pointed remarks to another person suggests that maybe you’re braver than most. Your gutsy, no nonsense persona is what people respect about you. It takes courage to go toe-to-toe with someone you simply don’t like or can’t stand to be around because not everyone is willing to take chances. Without shouting, lay the facts straight in an assertive and private manner without inviting attention. You don’t want to incite fear or intimidation.
7. Be receptive to varying points of view
Understand someone else’s point of view before interjecting your own words. Hearing the truth can come as a shock to an egotistical or reserved person, but it doesn’t always mean it’s invalid. A true listener tries to have coherent conversations without built up anger or distress because they want to hear varying points of view. Someone who can deliver a positive message asserts their position as a leader.
8. Be more of an upstanding leader than a follower
A great person attracts great people in such a way where they become formidable leaders in their profession. The same rule applies between co-workers where one or several will exude leadership signs early on. Taking on more leadership roles gives credence to your name and reputation which will prove to be more effective for you. How do you know when someone considers you a leader? Well, they start relying on you for answers and duplicating your efforts!
