Whoever said chivalry was dead must have taken a glimpse into my former dating life. I used to utter these words quite frequently. The phrase ‘chivalry is dead’ probably formulated from women, like me at the time, who claimed that the act of being a gentleman is somewhat of a lost art form. Basically, they don’t make ‘em like they used to.
The ‘ladies first’ attitude that requires women to be treated how a man would want his mother to be treated, in many instances has been replaced with just the opposite. For whatever reason, some men have adopted an attitude that doesn’t include treating a lady like a lady. Who’s to blame for the lack of gentleman? I’m not certain; but I am certain of one thing: once a woman dates a true gentleman, it’s hard to accept anything less than the treatment you received while with him.
So although, they may not make ‘em like they used to, there are still some gentleman out there who pride themselves on being such.
So what are the traits of a gentleman?
A Gentleman Opens Doors
Opening doors for a woman is one of the most common traits associated with being a gentleman. A gentleman understands that this simple gesture is like an unwritten rule; and honestly is it really that difficult to just open a door and allow a woman to go first?
A Gentleman Pulls Out Chairs
I will be the first to admit that a man doesn’t necessarily have to pull out a chair for me if we’re going out to dinner. While it’s definitely a nice gentlemanly gesture, it’s one of those things that’s just not a deal breaker for me. However, it’s still a trait of a gentleman; and if you find a man who does, that’s a plus.
A Gentleman Understands ‘Ladies First’
Imagine this. You’re out on a date at a nice restaurant. You’re wowed by the place that your date has chosen. The waiter comes and it’s time to take your order. Your date, with no hesitation, proceeds to order before you. Are you turned off? Some women are, others aren’t; but a gentleman knows that ladies go first.
A Gentleman Gives Compliments (With No Sex Involved)
Every woman deserves to be complimented. A gentleman understands this and is man enough to compliment a woman when he deems appropriate. And guess what? His compliment isn’t always to get you to come out of your clothes; although I’m sure he wouldn’t mind that either. The point is, a gentleman likes to see a woman smile and a compliment is an easy way to create a smile.
A Gentleman Romances Not Rushes
Regular guys want everything fast. They want your number with the first sentence spoken. They want a date confirmation the same day of meeting you, and then after the date they want sex immediately. While a gentleman may want these things (he’s still a man), he understands the importance of romancing and not rushing. How about speaking and sparking a conversation before asking for a number? Or talking on the phone (not texting) before going out on a date, and understanding that at least a kiss comes before sex. Simply put, a gentleman understands that romancing a woman should still be a requirement.
A Gentleman Listens
Most women who have been dating for at least a few years get it by now, men don’t particularly love to talk and have long drawn out conversations. However most of us do. Although a gentleman may not want to indulge in long conversations about why you can’t stand your boss, why you feel you need to lose weight, or other things that we can spend hours conversing about, he still listens (unless the game is on); and most importantly he surprises you when you least expect it with details from something you’ve previously said.
A Gentleman Walks You to Your Car
Walking a woman to her car is one of those other traits that is commonly associated with being a gentleman. After all, what man doesn’t want to ensure that you get to your car or in your house safely? Men are expected to be protectors. His manly instinct should always kick in to ensure that you are safe while with him and after leaving him.
What do you think? Is the act of being a gentleman a lost art form in our culture? Do we, as women, require, or even expect, the men we date to be gentleman?
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