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Every woman has these moments in her life that either make her realize she’s totally gained her confidence, she’s lost all sense of shame (in a great, great way) or she just doesn’t put up with BS anymore. Here are 15 funny and true moments of becoming a woman.
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Telling a guy off…unsuccessfully
We all have that one breakup where we decide we’re going to tell the guy exactly what we think—we prepare a speech for days pointing out everything he did wrong and everything he has to learn about women. And when we finally tell it he just looks at you and says, “No problem.” And it’s SO unsatisfying.
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Getting back with an ex
We all try it once so we can learn what a huge, massive mistake it is.
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Buying mostly perishable food
You know you’re becoming a grown*ss woman when you actually have to pay attention to things like mold on tomatoes and expiration dates on chicken cutlets. Why? Because you’ve graduated from frozen…everything. And popcorn dinners.
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Graduating from Forever 21
That moment when you realize it’s not okay to wear jeans that have fake pockets. You know, like, stitches that make it look as if a pocket is there, but it’s not. Because it was too expensive for the manufacturers to put one in.
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Stopping sex to pee
There comes a day when you don’t care if you kill the mood—your health and comfort come first and you stop sex so you can go to the bathroom.
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Leaving a date on the spot
As you get older you realize how precious your time is, and how quickly you can tell if you’ll like a guy. There comes a day when you tell a date a half hour in, “I’m sorry. I already see deal breakers here. Let’s not waste anybody’s time here.”
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Telling someone you love your body
Unfortunately, many of us tolerate anywhere from tiny to terrible comments about body image early in life. And then there comes that day when you tell your friend, who is giving you diet tips, that, “Oh. I’m not trying to lose weight. I’m happy as I am.”
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Breaking up with a friend
Like I said before, as you get older you realize your time is precious and you stop wanting to waste a moment of it on toxic, emotionally draining people. Every woman has that first big breakup with a friend.
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Going to a restaurant solo
Eventually you get over the stigmas, you don’t care if a guy hits on you because you know how to make him go away fast, and you go to a restaurant on your own. You are craving a particular meal and don’t feel like waiting to make plans with somebody.
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Dating too many people
We all play with fire at one point and get a high off of dating several men at once. And then we get burnt when we accidentally hurt someone and realize it’s not “cool” to be a player.
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The first queef
No woman forgets her first queef.
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Bangs
We all give them a shot. A lucky small percentage can pull off bangs. The rest just bobby pin those bad boys up until they grow out.
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First girl crush
No woman forgets her first girl crush. It’s usually on a woman way more adventurous and edgy than ourselves. Someone with like a side boob tattoo and an accent.
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Identifying a booty call
In high school and even college we still believe that all sex must be building up to a relationship. Then we have that first moment as an adult when we realize, “Oh. This guy only calls me at 2 am, or drunk, or after his breakups. I recognize what this is…”
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Showing the sticky boobs
Try as we may, we eventually just can’t hide the fact that we wear sticky boobs. And we let a man finally see these odd, sticky, chicken-cutlet-looking jellies that jiggle on our chest under a backless top.
