15 Funny Compatibility Checks

Bathroom door: closed or open?

You want the door open so you can chitchat with your partner while you take care of business, but he wants it shut. Or maybe he wants the door open and you want it closed to maintain some mystery.

Eating expired foods: yes or no?

You’re fine with scraping a little mold off or going by the sniff-test when it comes to eating expired foods. You see it as thrifty. But your partner sees it as grungy. Uh oh.

Do you need to pre-wash dishes?

It seems like a small issue, but all the minutes spent pre-washing dishes before they go in the dishwasher add up!

Are you into free stuff?

It’s either youthful, unpretentious and even smart to accept free stuff–or it’s cheap. You better make sure you stand on the same side of the argument or someone will constantly be bringing home items that the other one is throwing out.

Is the dog a family member?

Will you or won’t you spend $3,000 of your shared funds on a vet bill? Will you or won’t you bring the dog on vacations? Can he or can’t he sleep in the very middle of the bed, even though he has terrible gas?

Can you go to breakfast in your pajamas?

There’s nothing worse than waiting for someone to get all gussied up when you’re just walking down the street for breakfast, and you know you’re fine with going in your pajamas. OR there’s nothing worse than having strangers stare at your partner in his robe.

Can you go out in general in your pajamas?

If you’re someone who needs to be fully done up just to leave the house, you might see your partner as disrespectful if he runs errands in sweat pants (with no underwear on). On the flip side, if you only get done up for special occasions, you could see your partner as vain for putting himself together (in his best Polo ensemble) for the grocery store.

Same-sex drunk kissing

If you’re drunk and make out with a friend of the same sex, is that cheating?

Stance on giving to the homeless

If your partner doesn’t believe in giving handouts to the homeless while you’re rummaging through your car for any change or extra food any time you see someone with an “Anything helps” sign, you might bump heads.

Toilet paper rules

If someone finishes the toilet paper and doesn’t put a new roll on the dispenser, is that person evil? What if that person gets out a new roll from under the sink, but just puts it on the back of the toilet? Kindest or laziest person ever?

Can you reuse towels?

People have strong opinions on this issue. Many believe that since you’re clean by the time you use a towel, towels never really get dirty. Others believe that the aforementioned people are disgusting.

Do you pay for upgrades?

Is flying first class the ultimate experience or expensive and unnecessary? Do you pay more for the room with the view or is that silly because you’ll hardly be in the room when on vacation?

Same side of the booth?

It can be romantic when your partner feels like he always has to sit next to you in a restaurant, even when you have a big four-person table or booth to yourselves.

Or it’s annoying. You want space.

Vacations: itinerary or play by ear?

If you’re the type of person who likes to land somewhere and see where the day takes you, you’re going to want to smack someone for emailing you Excel spreadsheets of itineraries three weeks before the trip.

Can you talk about sex?

Some people feel that being forward and saying things like, “Want to go have sex?” kills the mood. Others don’t see the problem. Where do you stand?