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In the world of dating, people often look for different things to suit their tastes. And while everyone knows what they want in a mate or lifetime partner, we often miss out on great people because we are looking for the wrong things. The things many of us want can be too superficial, or we may be a little too selective in the qualities we are seeking out. Women can often be so rigid with men that one cannot help but wonder: Are some of us not in stable relationships because we do not know what qualities are important to look for in a guy? Is our focus on what he has or who he is?
The things women should look for in a man are the simple qualities that we may feel are basic but are truly important ones. Observe a man’s character: look at his actions; how he carries himself; how he treats you; where he spends a majority of his time; his consistency with you; observe his work ethic; listen carefully to what he talks about; and carefully observe how he spends his money. Sounds like a lot, but this is not a difficult task. However, it does require a bit of discipline on your part and plenty of patience. So now that we know that we need to shift our focus let’s look at some of the best qualities you should check for when looking inside of a man rather than looking at him.
Answer the following questions:
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Is He Honest?
Is he upfront with you about things that are important and what he is feeling? Does he have a habit of fibbing about things that aren’t that deep? Honesty is what holds a relationship together because trust is everything. One cannot be comfortable in a relationship if they feel like they can’t believe the things that come out of the other person’s mouth.
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Is He Consistent?
Is he really sweet and romantic one minute, and then hard to get in touch with the next? In the beginning, this will be pretty hard to figure out (unless he slips up fast) because people often put up a front to impress the individual they are interested in. But if he is already slacking on the romance, things will only go downhill from there.
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Is He Humble?
Is he modest or is he really into himself? Can he admit when he is wrong or is he always refusing to own up to his mess?
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What About His Morals?
Does he come off as a genuinely good person? Does he have good intentions or is he shady at times? A man of good moral standing is always important because he knows the difference between what’s right and wrong and chooses to act accordingly.
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How Does He Communicate With You And Others?
It is also important to surround yourself with people who treat you right. A man who does not know how to talk to you may feel a little too comfortable disrespecting you. If there are obvious signs that his mouth may get him in trouble, don’t avoid them.
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If He is A Father, How Is His Relationship With His Kids?
It does not take much for a man to have a child, but it takes much effort to be a good father. So what is his relationship like with his kids? Is he present? Does he talk to them often? Moreover, does he try to have positive interactions with the mother of the kid(s)? It is hard to respect and cultivate a relationship with someone who doesn’t make an effort for the sake of his children.
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Is He An Intellectual?
Can he stimulate your mind? A fine man who is good in bed is nice, but an intelligent man who has more to talk about than surface bull (and sports) is great! Is he conscious of what’s going on in the world around him?
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What Are His Values?
What does he consider his foundation? Where does he stand in terms of politics? If you are a woman of a specific faith, are the both of you on the same page? If not, can you work with that, or is it something very important to you? A man’s values make him who he is, so if you don’t like those values, you may want to get out know instead of trying to change him.
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How Does He Handle His Finances?
Is he a reckless spender? Does he save? While most of us aren’t Suze Orman in terms of the way we handle our money, a terrible credit score and major debt is something that needs to should be addressed.
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Is He All Talk And No Action?
This one speaks for itself: Does he keep his word? Is he the type of man you think you could count on? Does he at least put in an effort? A reliable man is almost as important as a trustworthy one. Who wants to waste time on someone who doesn’t show up for you? It could create resentment down the line.
If we focus on these things, we’ll learn what we need to know about a man and can effectively decide whether or not we want to continue or even begin a healthy relationship with him. Physical qualities fade, but a man who possesses an upstanding character is one who will cherish and treat you like the queen you are. Take some time to get to know him on a serious level and find out who he is internally and not whom he wants you to believe he is based on his external image. Trust me, it will help you in the long run.
Liz Lampkin is the Author of Are You a Reflection of the Man You Pry For?, speaker and advocate for single women. Follow her on Twitter @Liz_Lampkin.
