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There is really no such thing as a good catcall. But some manage to be the worst of their kind, in what is naturally the worst behavior. These cat calls are derogatory, manipulative, and sometimes downright dumb; hence we’ve deemed them the worst catcalls ever.
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“Smile”
This is so manipulative: if we don’t smile, we feel like we’re “proving” that we’re b*tchy. If we do smile, we just followed an order. PS do you walk around smiling, like you’re constantly in a pageant? No. Because nobody does.
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“Hey excuse me?”
Tricky, tricky. When a man starts with, “Excuse me” you think he’s going to let you know you have toilet paper stuck to your foot, so he has your full attention. It’s also just a way cat callers pretend to be polite.
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“Can I ask you a question?”
Another tricky one: feeding on your generosity. You think the guy just needs directions. Now that you’ve already agreed to answer his question, you feel trapped—and he does not need directions.
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“Baby”
“Baby” is a term of endearment reserved for significant others. Do not force yourself into my inner circle.
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“Princess”
Please do not call me something that assumes I am entitled, or think I’m above others. This is some manipulative BS too: if I don’t respond, I feel like then I’m acting like a “princess” when really, I just want to be left alone.
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“Sweetie”
I know exactly what this is: you’re hoping I want to continue to appear to be a sweetheart so I’ll entertain your cat calling and not say something mean. Newsflash: I do not care if some scum of the earth thinks I am sweet. I’m happy to prove him wrong.
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Kissing sounds
Oh okay: so I’m a dog now that you’re beckoning over? Gross. So gross.
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Whistling
Thank you for drawing the attention of the entire street to his awkward interaction. Now everybody is watching me to see how I respond.
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The drive by
You just violated my ears. And I can’t even defend myself because you’re gone. And I’m left here feeling gross.
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Putting it in a song
Disgusting, disrespectful words are just that, no matter what tune you say them in.
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“That’s what I’m talking about”
As if every woman who walks by is there just to serve your purpose of cat calling—as if I just dreamed to be what some low life was “talking about.”
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“I’d hit that”
First of all, I didn’t ask if you would. Secondly, of course you would hit that. You would hit anything. You’re disgusting. Nobody wants you. Don’t pretend you have options.
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“Work it girl”
I’m not trying to “work” anything. I’m just trying to walk. Please don’t turn the sidewalk in front of the drugstore into a cat walk.
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“I don’t mean to offend but…”
Adding “I don’t mean to offend” before offensive words does not make those words any less defensive.
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“You look like you could handle all of this”
Okay, but I don’t want to. Like, I really don’t want to. You’re right about one thing though: you probably are a lot to handle. You’re probably miserable and unemployed and stupid. That does sound like a lot to handle.
