Corbis
As cuffing season is about to come to a close, and Valentine’s Day just whisked by (I hardly even noticed!) the thought of relationships is still at the forefront of some folks’ minds. But relationships are more about timing and knowing when you’re not ready to get back on that dating horse. So here are some signs to assess if you’re up for the task.
Shutterstock
You’re still actively hurt
Com’n now! If you still have a broken heart, what do you have to offer or contribute to a relationship?
Now I’m not saying to be a eunuch (or the female equivalent to that), but if the sound of their voice still makes you cry, or each day feels like the relationship just ended, focus on your healing, rather than a new person in your life.
Image Source: Shutterstock.com
You feel as though you need to be in a relationship
There are certain things that you need in this life: air to breathe, food to eat, water to drink. You do not NEED a relationship, and if you feel like you NEED to be in one, then that’s a problem.
Your life shouldn’t be predicated on the presence on someone else in it.
Shutterstock
You don’t feel whole
If you’re thinking that a relationship is going to fill in your empty parts then you’re being misguided in your reasons to be in a relationship.
Two half people do not make a whole person. Focus on becoming the best version of yourself that you can before you invite someone else along for the ride.
Image Source: Shutterstock.com
You’re bored
Here’s the thing about relationships, you’re dealing with someone else’s feelings. So if you decided to get into a relationship because you were just bored and felt like you wanted to have someone to do fun stuff with, and they become emotionally attached to you, then that’s just being irresponsible with someone else’s feelings.
No one deserves to be an option, especially if you are encouraging them to make you a priority.
Shutterstock
Your reasoning is vindictive
If your reason is to get back at your ex by showing them how you are moving on, you’re still hurting the unsuspecting person who chose to be in a relationship with you.
They signed up to be in a relationship with you because they liked you, not because they wanted to be used as a pawn.
Image Source: Shutterstock.com
You’re scared of a commitment
It still warps my mind when people get into relationships with people, sometimes have kids with them, and then say: “I don’t know what I was thinking, I’m afraid of being committed to just one person.”
Fool, you knew that’s how you felt before you started dating that person!
Until you conquer your fear of being with someone else, then stay single. Date, mingle around, don’t lock someone down just because you don’t want them to be with someone else, when you don’t even know if you want to be with them.
Shutterstock
You’re still trying to get your ex back
I honestly don’t advocate for a person snooping in their mate’s belongings, but if your girl or guy find that you have sent text messages to your ex about how you wished they could get back together, then I have no pity for you.
In fact, why are you even in your current relationship if you’re pining for your past one? No one deserves to be a distraction.
Shutterstock
You’re ignoring your pain
Trying to work through your pain is admirable, but if you’re ignoring it, chances are that you’re more than a powder keg than a potential boo.
Essentially, it’ll just make you emotionally vacant, and the other person doesn’t deserve to be dating a shell.
Shutterstock
You can’t be honest with what went wrong
They say that those who don’t learn from the past are doomed to repeat it, and that’s especially true with relationships. If you’re only exclaiming what the other person did to you, and not what you did in a relationship, you’re just going to continue on an unhealthy cycle of dysfunctional relationships.
Einstein once said that insanity is doing the same thing, but expecting different results.
Don’t be crazy, get it together before you get together with someone else.
The more you know!
