Say What Now!? 12 Reasons a Man May Turn Down Sex
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As women, we can usually come up with reasons why we might not be in the mood for sex. Too tired, a headache, that time of the month – men rarely question us when we say “not tonight.” They may not like it, but it’s probably not all that surprising to them unless they’re dating or married to an insatiable nymph.
But when a man says he’s not in the mood, women usually – instantly – raise an eyebrow. Why doesn’t he want to have sex? After all, when is a man ever NOT in the mood? Our first thought may be that he’s having an affair. If he’s not getting it from you, then he’s getting it from somebody right? Not necessarily. Just because a man turns down sex doesn’t mean he’s doing you dirty or that he doesn’t love you anymore. Men have their off days too, so before you start creeping through his phone to see what he’s up to, consider these reasons why he may not want to have sex tonight.
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Image Source: Bigstock.com
1. He Has a Headache
It sounds like a brush off, but maybe he’s really not feeling well. Whether he actually has a migraine, the flu or even just a bad cold, sex is usually the last thing on a person’s mind when they can’t breathe with a stuffy or runny nose, chills and body aches. Not sexy at all.
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2. He’s on Medication
If your man IS sick or has a condition that requires medication, be sure to find out if the medication he’s on has side effects that include loss of libido. Some medications cause testosterone levels to drop, which can lead to loss of sex drive – even erectile dysfunction . If so, have him discuss other options with his doctor to help him get his mojo back.
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Image Source: Bigstock.com
3. He’s Obese
Another reason a man may lose his sex drive is if he’s recently gained a lot of weight. Obesity can also lower testosterone levels, affecting libido. And if he’s out of shape, he’s probably out of “sex shape” too, meaning he can’t perform the way he used to because he’s lazy and/or fatigued. If this is the case, you can probably guess that he’s also a little embarrassed and suffers from body issues as well. Women aren’t the only ones self-conscious about their bodies; and if he feels he can’t perform because of his weight or because he’s concerned that you may have to do all the work, then he’d probably rather forego the act altogether.
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Image Source: Bigstock.com
4. He’s Tired
Yes, some men are actually too tired for sex. If he works long, grueling, physically draining hours, it won’t matter how hot you look in your lingerie as you greet him at the door – all he’s thinking about is sleep. Try to get him in the morning.
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Image Source: Bigstock.com
5. He’s Drunk.
For some, drinking alcohol can lower inhibitions and make them a little more frisky than usual. But for some men, drinking TOO MUCH can actually have the opposite effect. He may even want to have sex, but being intoxicated may keep him from being able to perform. If he knows that drinking has this effect on his body, he may avoid sex so that he doesn’t have to worry about not being able to “rise” to the occasion.
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Image Source: Bigstock.com
6. He’s in Pain
My husband once turned down sex because he pulled a groin muscle at the gym but was too embarrassed to tell me. Another time it was because he injured his shoulder at work. While you may be thinking he’s faking an injury to keep from having sex with you, he may actually be in some real pain. If your man is a bit accident prone or is extremely physical like mine, tell him to be a little more careful so that his injuries don’t get in the way of you two getting busy!
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Image Source: Bigstock.com
7. He’d Rather Watch the Game
I know this sounds cold, but yes…sometimes men would really just rather watch the game. It really has nothing to do with you. We may think that he should want us no matter what is on TV, but if you try to seduce him while the Super Bowl is on, or his team is down by 2 points with the ball and 7 seconds left on the clock…you might get your feelings hurt. Wait until halftime.
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Image Source: Bigstock.com
8. He’s Not Attracted to You
Now I know that sounds mean, but sometimes the truth hurts. Did you let yourself go after you had the kids? Maybe your personal hygiene is lacking? Did you trade in your sexy lingerie for holey t-shirts, a head scarf and granny panties? You might want to consider that you’re not presenting your most desirable self.
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- Wowzer! 10 Sex Games To Build Trust And Intimacy With Your Partner
- Diddy’s Defense Admits Violence But Denies Sex Trafficking In Opening Statements
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Image Source: Bigstock.com
9. He’s Stressed, Upset or Angry
Sometimes if a man has a lot on his mind, sex usually the last thing on it. Maybe he has a lot on his plate at work, or is obsessing over bills. While some men use sex to de-stress, some lose interest in sex altogether. Or maybe he suffered a loss or experienced a tragedy and has lost interest because he’s depressed. Or maybe…just maybe…he’s angry with YOU. While men are not usually as emotional as we are, we shouldn’t discount his feelings when trying to figure out why he’s not interested in having sex with us.
- Terrence Howard Bashed For Rejecting Marvin Gaye Biopic Over Gay Kiss Scene
- Why Actress Amber Iman Calls ‘Goddess’ A Love Letter To Black Women In Theater [Exclusive]
- Wowzer! 10 Sex Games To Build Trust And Intimacy With Your Partner
- Diddy’s Defense Admits Violence But Denies Sex Trafficking In Opening Statements
- Why Women Get The ‘Ick’ More Than Men — It Might Just Prolong Their Lives
Image Source: Bigstock.com
10. He’s Bored
Again, a hard pill to swallow, but maybe he’s just not interested in having the same boring sex with you – especially if you’re in a long-term relationship. It’s easy to fall into a routine if you’re an “old married couple,” and the monotony of the day-to-day can lead to him not being interested in having sex. Sure he still loves you, and may hug and kiss you – he just may not need sex like he used to when you were a new, fresh, exciting couple. Try to spice things up a bit to get him jump started again.
- Terrence Howard Bashed For Rejecting Marvin Gaye Biopic Over Gay Kiss Scene
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- Wowzer! 10 Sex Games To Build Trust And Intimacy With Your Partner
- Diddy’s Defense Admits Violence But Denies Sex Trafficking In Opening Statements
- Why Women Get The ‘Ick’ More Than Men — It Might Just Prolong Their Lives
Image Source: Bigstock.com
11. He’s Addicted to Porn
Some men turn down sex from their partners because they’ve become desensitized to sex from watching too much porn. Or he may have unrealistic expectations of how you should perform in bed because he wants you to look like and have sex like a porn star. If you suspect this is the problem, then you may have to have him meet with a sex therapist to determine if he has some sort of porn addiction that interferes with your sex life.
- Terrence Howard Bashed For Rejecting Marvin Gaye Biopic Over Gay Kiss Scene
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- Wowzer! 10 Sex Games To Build Trust And Intimacy With Your Partner
- Diddy’s Defense Admits Violence But Denies Sex Trafficking In Opening Statements
- Why Women Get The ‘Ick’ More Than Men — It Might Just Prolong Their Lives
Image Source: Bigstock.com
12. He Self Pleases Often
If you determine that porn may be an issue, then excessive masturbating to porn may contribute to why he doesn’t have sex with you. Even if he doesn’t use porn to self please, masturbating in place of actual intercourse may be the culprit to why he’s never in the mood – because he’s “hand(led)” his needs on his own. Let him know that while there is nothing wrong with occasionally self pleasuring, you miss his touch and the connection that actual intercourse brings. Nothing can replace the real thing if he’s still attracted to you, so tell him to leave the pleasing to you.
- Terrence Howard Bashed For Rejecting Marvin Gaye Biopic Over Gay Kiss Scene
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- Wowzer! 10 Sex Games To Build Trust And Intimacy With Your Partner
- Diddy’s Defense Admits Violence But Denies Sex Trafficking In Opening Statements
- Why Women Get The ‘Ick’ More Than Men — It Might Just Prolong Their Lives
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