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There are plenty of unspoken rules in dating; but dating someone in a different age bracket comes with its very own set of rules—both with regards to how you treat the guy, and how you treat the rest of the world that is judging you. (Yes, they are.) Here are the unspoken rules of different age relationships.

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If he’s older, offer to pay sometimes

A tiny part of him is wondering if you’re just with him for his money. If there is a good 15 years between you two, he’d be dumb not to wonder that. So offer to pay sometimes just to wash his worries away.

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The exception to the rule

You’re totally broke and he insists on doing expensive things. If he begs and begs you to go to Tahiti but you can’t afford the ticket, who are you to say no to that ticket? The rule only applies to things you can both afford doing.

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Don’t expect much from your friends

Your friends will take a bit longer to warm up to a guy of a drastically different age than they do to the other guys you date. They’re wondering if you’re in this for the right reasons, or if it’s even serious enough for them to get to know the guy. They’re reasonable to feel that way.

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The exception to the rule

They can’t let your boy toy know he’s your boy toy, or let your sugar daddy know he’s your sugar daddy! Even if they see exactly what’s going on, they can’t blow up your entire situation by making some rude remark about it. They don’t have to be his best friend, but they’re not allowed to make your guy feel uncomfortable.

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The exception to the rule

Unless he thinks he can change your mind, or you can change his. Maybe you’ll adopt even though you’re old enough to have grandchildren by now. Maybe he’ll forget about the whole kid thing for good, and just be with you instead.

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The exception to the rule

Unless they’re stoked for him. Hey, maybe he just ended a miserable 30-year marriage and they’re proud of him for getting out there! If you’re one of a string of young women he dates, then they’ll be suspicious. But if you’re the first, his friends will be high fiving him.