Every long-term relationship reaches a point where real life starts to take over, and soon the only thing getting hot and heavy in the bedroom may be your Yorkie Poo and panda PillowPet. When you’re no longer locked into passionate lust and infatuation, sex may become scheduled and lack luster and you can find yourself writhing and moaning “ooohs” “aaahs” and “don’t stop’s” before suddenly realizing that you’re not really enjoying what’s happening, but simply going to through the motions.
The great thing about sex is that it doesn’t take much to turn up the temperature and the following tips should have you and your partner working up a sweat in no time:
1. Experiment with Adult Videos.
You may think that you can’t learn anything from Lacey Duvalle and Melrose Foxx, but you can learn a lot about what turns your man (and yourself) on by catching a skin flick. Once you get through the sub-par acting and bad yaki ponytails, pay attention to what visual stimulation your body responds to. You might be surprised. Pornography gives you a look at live action performances of positions that sex self-help books can have difficulty demonstrating.
2. Playtime’s Not Over
“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but chains and whips excite me.” Rihanna’s absolutely right about never being too old to play with your toys. Finger bangers, blindfolds and bondage kits may all sound like they’re designed to bring pain, but they could be your key to another level of pleasure. A play date with your partner just got a bit more fun.
3. Simple Changes Can Be Hot.
Sex can be made that much more exciting by simply trying something you usually shy away from. If you never have been one for words during sex, trying saying something that just tastes filthy coming off of your tongue. Tell your partner how much you enjoy what they’re doing by using words that you will only find on the explicit version of Dirty Money’s “Your Love”. Try having sex with the lights on, or taking the aggressive position on top instead of letting your partner do all the work. Your partner will eagerly wonder what’s coming next.
4. Dress for the event.
You may not even have to do a cheesy role play like school girl and principal, but instead of wearing your typical satin or lace black panties, try rocking a lace teddy complete with garters and fishnet stockings. If your partner has a sweet tooth, have a candy panty surprise ready for him to nibble off of you. Imagine yourself as a sexual vixen. Chances are you’re not rocking a pair of PINK sweatpants and a tank top.
5. Take your passion to go.
It can be hard to spice up your love life in the same place where you regularly tune into your must- see TV and wrap your hair. A new location can set the ambiance that’s needed for a night of sensual lust. Splurge on a hotel room on the other side of town where you can order room service and have someone else wash the sheets. If you’re feeling especially brave, pull your partner into a bathroom at the next party you attend, because you have to have them right then and there. The risk that someone might witness how freaky you both are could be enough to get the party started anytime and anyplace.
6. Assume the position.
Congratulations if you found a tried and true position that you know takes you from 0 to 60, but if you begin to rely on it too much in it can become predictable and stagnant. The Cosmo Kama Sutra boasts 77 positions that will at least keep you flexible if they don’t keep you and your partner sexually satisfied. We all know about doggie style and The 69, but aren’t you the least bit curious about The Cobra, The Rocking Chair and The Pearl?
7. Do the thing you said you’d never do.
Maybe you’re no stranger to oral sex, but the thought of swallowing any bodily fluid other than saliva makes you want to gag. And the closest thing you’ve gotten to anal sex is color coding your condom selection by brand. You may just be so used to looking at some acts as taboo and forbidden that you’re psyching yourself out of an opportunity for pleasure.
8. Become a fireman.
On the pole that is. It’s no secret that America has become obsessed with gentleman’s club culture, and women in pole dancing classes across the country are learning that manipulating your body to work that pole is a lot harder than it looks. Pole tricks require upper body strength and an ability to grasp objects with your thighs. Save your man a trip to a seedy strip club by taking some pole dancing lessons and letting him make it rain on you at home.
9. Make a movie.
If you’re feeling brave and trust your partner, looking at your lovemaking through a camera lens can make you feel like you have a front row seat to your own personal peep show. A sex tape will allow to you to see both you and your partner from an angle that you wouldn’t normally have access to which can be extremely arousing. Afraid a sex tape might mischievously find its way from your bedroom to a blog? Take a note from Ne-Yo and make love in front a mirror. “I see you, can you see me watchin you loving it…”
10. Set the mood.
Sex with the latest episode of The First 48 blaring in the background is not exactly romantic, but spontaneous sex sometimes isn’t about the mood. Next time try putting a little effort into the presentation: Light some candles and turn to your Trey Songz Pandora channel. True passion is part performance and part presentation.
Have you tried any of these suggestions? What else have you done to spice up a humdrum sex life?
