15 Ways To Pretend To Be Good In Bed
How To Pretend To Be Good In Bed
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Let’s be honest: it’s pretty difficult to be bad at sex. It is sex after all—our bodies were built to like it at the most basic level. But, if you’re concerned with being “good at sex” (whatever that means) here’s how to fake it. From what we’ve gathered from adult films and titles of men’s lifestyle articles, if you do these things, you’ll look kinky/adventurous/etc. So here’s a somewhat facetious guide on how to pretend to be good in bed. Seriously, don’t take this too seriously.
- Diddy’s Defense Admits Violence But Denies Sex Trafficking In Opening Statements
- Why Actress Amber Iman Calls ‘Goddess’ A Love Letter To Black Women In Theater [Exclusive]
- Former Pro Footballer Ryan Clark Calls Diddy A ‘B—-‘ For ‘Stomping’ Out Cassie In Video
- Favorite Moments From ‘The Bomb Fashion Show’ During New York Fashion Week
- SZA Awarded Hal David Starlight Award For Songwriting
Use ice
We’re not exactly sure where, just use it. The main photo of any sexy article is usually a mouth with an ice cube in it so just bring the whole ice tray in the bedroom and figure it out.
- Diddy’s Defense Admits Violence But Denies Sex Trafficking In Opening Statements
- Why Actress Amber Iman Calls ‘Goddess’ A Love Letter To Black Women In Theater [Exclusive]
- Former Pro Footballer Ryan Clark Calls Diddy A ‘B—-‘ For ‘Stomping’ Out Cassie In Video
- Favorite Moments From ‘The Bomb Fashion Show’ During New York Fashion Week
- SZA Awarded Hal David Starlight Award For Songwriting
Take off clothes with your teeth
Even if it takes super, super long to get undressed. Even if he is wearing a button up shirt with 28 buttons. Using your hands to take off your partner’s clothes is, like, for the elderly.
- Diddy’s Defense Admits Violence But Denies Sex Trafficking In Opening Statements
- Why Actress Amber Iman Calls ‘Goddess’ A Love Letter To Black Women In Theater [Exclusive]
- Former Pro Footballer Ryan Clark Calls Diddy A ‘B—-‘ For ‘Stomping’ Out Cassie In Video
- Favorite Moments From ‘The Bomb Fashion Show’ During New York Fashion Week
- SZA Awarded Hal David Starlight Award For Songwriting
Cover him in whipped cream
It doesn’t matter if dairy gives you indigestion. Suck it up (literally) because it’s not “good” sex unless someone’s turned into a human ice cream sundae.
- Diddy’s Defense Admits Violence But Denies Sex Trafficking In Opening Statements
- Why Actress Amber Iman Calls ‘Goddess’ A Love Letter To Black Women In Theater [Exclusive]
- Former Pro Footballer Ryan Clark Calls Diddy A ‘B—-‘ For ‘Stomping’ Out Cassie In Video
- Favorite Moments From ‘The Bomb Fashion Show’ During New York Fashion Week
- SZA Awarded Hal David Starlight Award For Songwriting
Get into acrobatics
If you don’t have a leg over your head, twisted around your torso, and sticking out the window, you’re just boring.
- Diddy’s Defense Admits Violence But Denies Sex Trafficking In Opening Statements
- Why Actress Amber Iman Calls ‘Goddess’ A Love Letter To Black Women In Theater [Exclusive]
- Former Pro Footballer Ryan Clark Calls Diddy A ‘B—-‘ For ‘Stomping’ Out Cassie In Video
- Favorite Moments From ‘The Bomb Fashion Show’ During New York Fashion Week
- SZA Awarded Hal David Starlight Award For Songwriting
Make sure he’s always behind you
Eye contact during sex is for nuns.
- Diddy’s Defense Admits Violence But Denies Sex Trafficking In Opening Statements
- Why Actress Amber Iman Calls ‘Goddess’ A Love Letter To Black Women In Theater [Exclusive]
- Former Pro Footballer Ryan Clark Calls Diddy A ‘B—-‘ For ‘Stomping’ Out Cassie In Video
- Favorite Moments From ‘The Bomb Fashion Show’ During New York Fashion Week
- SZA Awarded Hal David Starlight Award For Songwriting
Switch positions at least 12 times
If anybody comes close to finishing, you’re doing something wrong. The goal isn’t orgasms, it’s endurance! (Er…um…yeah.)
- Diddy’s Defense Admits Violence But Denies Sex Trafficking In Opening Statements
- Why Actress Amber Iman Calls ‘Goddess’ A Love Letter To Black Women In Theater [Exclusive]
- Former Pro Footballer Ryan Clark Calls Diddy A ‘B—-‘ For ‘Stomping’ Out Cassie In Video
- Favorite Moments From ‘The Bomb Fashion Show’ During New York Fashion Week
- SZA Awarded Hal David Starlight Award For Songwriting
Switch rooms at least 12 times
If you haven’t felt the cold kitchen tile (plus some breadcrumbs and olive oil spills left out) on your back during sex, you haven’t lived. Soft, bouncy, safe beds are for the weak!
- Diddy’s Defense Admits Violence But Denies Sex Trafficking In Opening Statements
- Why Actress Amber Iman Calls ‘Goddess’ A Love Letter To Black Women In Theater [Exclusive]
- Former Pro Footballer Ryan Clark Calls Diddy A ‘B—-‘ For ‘Stomping’ Out Cassie In Video
- Favorite Moments From ‘The Bomb Fashion Show’ During New York Fashion Week
- SZA Awarded Hal David Starlight Award For Songwriting
Do back door stuff
It doesn’t matter if someone is uncomfortable or offended: what matters is that’s cool now.
- Diddy’s Defense Admits Violence But Denies Sex Trafficking In Opening Statements
- Why Actress Amber Iman Calls ‘Goddess’ A Love Letter To Black Women In Theater [Exclusive]
- Former Pro Footballer Ryan Clark Calls Diddy A ‘B—-‘ For ‘Stomping’ Out Cassie In Video
- Favorite Moments From ‘The Bomb Fashion Show’ During New York Fashion Week
- SZA Awarded Hal David Starlight Award For Songwriting
Bring in a third person
And a fourth, and a fifth…two person sex is so cavemen. What are all those people doing in that bed you ask? It doesn’t matter. They could be reading bedtime stories, so long as they’re all there, you’re being adventurous.
- Diddy’s Defense Admits Violence But Denies Sex Trafficking In Opening Statements
- Why Actress Amber Iman Calls ‘Goddess’ A Love Letter To Black Women In Theater [Exclusive]
- Former Pro Footballer Ryan Clark Calls Diddy A ‘B—-‘ For ‘Stomping’ Out Cassie In Video
- Favorite Moments From ‘The Bomb Fashion Show’ During New York Fashion Week
- SZA Awarded Hal David Starlight Award For Songwriting
Fling condoms everywhere
Use as many as necessary, and then more than that. And then more than that. It just looks impressive when there are 8 condoms lying around the room.
- Diddy’s Defense Admits Violence But Denies Sex Trafficking In Opening Statements
- Why Actress Amber Iman Calls ‘Goddess’ A Love Letter To Black Women In Theater [Exclusive]
- Former Pro Footballer Ryan Clark Calls Diddy A ‘B—-‘ For ‘Stomping’ Out Cassie In Video
- Favorite Moments From ‘The Bomb Fashion Show’ During New York Fashion Week
- SZA Awarded Hal David Starlight Award For Songwriting
Use your teeth down there
Everybody seems to be talking about learning the proper way to get teeth involved when going down on a guy. So do that. No—we don’t know exactly what that means. No—nobody does. No—your guy is probably not happy about the sound of this. But, um, adult film stars do it…?
- Diddy’s Defense Admits Violence But Denies Sex Trafficking In Opening Statements
- Why Actress Amber Iman Calls ‘Goddess’ A Love Letter To Black Women In Theater [Exclusive]
- Former Pro Footballer Ryan Clark Calls Diddy A ‘B—-‘ For ‘Stomping’ Out Cassie In Video
- Favorite Moments From ‘The Bomb Fashion Show’ During New York Fashion Week
- SZA Awarded Hal David Starlight Award For Songwriting
Put an adult film on and imitate it
Because sex is supposed to be more like a workout to an aerobics video than anything else. It doesn’t matter if what you were in the middle of felt good—the people on the TV are doing something else now so move along!
- Diddy’s Defense Admits Violence But Denies Sex Trafficking In Opening Statements
- Why Actress Amber Iman Calls ‘Goddess’ A Love Letter To Black Women In Theater [Exclusive]
- Former Pro Footballer Ryan Clark Calls Diddy A ‘B—-‘ For ‘Stomping’ Out Cassie In Video
- Favorite Moments From ‘The Bomb Fashion Show’ During New York Fashion Week
- SZA Awarded Hal David Starlight Award For Songwriting
Buy flavored lotion
Because sex isn’t difficult enough with all those acrobatics you were doing: you should be slipping and sliding all over the place.
- Diddy’s Defense Admits Violence But Denies Sex Trafficking In Opening Statements
- Why Actress Amber Iman Calls ‘Goddess’ A Love Letter To Black Women In Theater [Exclusive]
- Former Pro Footballer Ryan Clark Calls Diddy A ‘B—-‘ For ‘Stomping’ Out Cassie In Video
- Favorite Moments From ‘The Bomb Fashion Show’ During New York Fashion Week
- SZA Awarded Hal David Starlight Award For Songwriting
Image Source: Shutterstock.com
Always use a vibrator
Your own parts just won’t do anymore. Make sure there is always a vibrator or toy involved. Even if it’s just vibrating across the floor, confusing your dog.
- Diddy’s Defense Admits Violence But Denies Sex Trafficking In Opening Statements
- Why Actress Amber Iman Calls ‘Goddess’ A Love Letter To Black Women In Theater [Exclusive]
- Former Pro Footballer Ryan Clark Calls Diddy A ‘B—-‘ For ‘Stomping’ Out Cassie In Video
- Favorite Moments From ‘The Bomb Fashion Show’ During New York Fashion Week
- SZA Awarded Hal David Starlight Award For Songwriting
Wear edible underwear
Mostly wear that underwear made out of candy because, for going down on you, your guy should be rewarded with a high dentist bill.
- Diddy’s Defense Admits Violence But Denies Sex Trafficking In Opening Statements
- Why Actress Amber Iman Calls ‘Goddess’ A Love Letter To Black Women In Theater [Exclusive]
- Former Pro Footballer Ryan Clark Calls Diddy A ‘B—-‘ For ‘Stomping’ Out Cassie In Video
- Favorite Moments From ‘The Bomb Fashion Show’ During New York Fashion Week
- SZA Awarded Hal David Starlight Award For Songwriting
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