Ask A Very Smart Brotha: Should I Give Him An Ultimatum?

Fifth: As happy as I am single I still would like to date. How do I convey to a man that I don’t want to get married but I do want a friendship & he still take me seriously? I don’t want to ruin the opportunity for a commitment but I do want monogamy (if the friendship grows to that).

DY: Tell him exactly that. No need to dress it up or make any implications. Just give him the truth.

Evelyn: Ok… I been with the same guy going on six years soon still no ring and now I’m moving to Florida. I’m going due to a family emergency. But it looks like I’ll have to move permanently. My babe said he’ll move out there once he gets some of his priorities completed. Now here’s the issue he hasn’t made any moves yet towards those priorities. He has been saying the same thing for years. So I have decided to go on and start my life in Florida. Ok deep breath I don’t know if I should stay or just go. Or just watch what happens. I am open to any help.

DY: Go.

Sha: Well, if your guy tells you he’s cheated and is cheating, does that make it better than “finding out”? The age old saying, “why don’t you just tell me instead of lying” fueled this question.

DY: I guess. Hearing that your man is sleeping with your sister would probably be better than walking in on them on your futon.

Jessika: I have been dealing with a man on and off for a long time. It has always been just sex. Recently we discussed having a baby but when ever I try to find out where we are headed in this situation I get no response. I must admit I love him and I just wish I knew where I stood with him. Please help.

DY: Wait, how did you go from “f-buddy” to “lets have a baby together”??? Aren’t some steps and at least a date or two to Wendy’s missing there?

Yvette: What happens when you find yourself liking two guys…long story short, or should I say, short story short…just need some advice on how to choose!! I know I didn’t give any details, too much to type…

DY: Date both. You’ll eventually find out that you’re more compatible with one than the other. Continue dating that one.

Irie: My question is will he ever want a relationship with me? We both enjoy being single and dating, but I think I’m the only one considering actually settling down now. I guess I caught feelings. He says I’m growing on him, what does that even mean?

DY: Unfortunately, it means “no”

Kasia: Is it ok or inappropriate for a female to leave her home and visit with/ chill with a male friend without telling her S/O? Or vice versa

DY: Depends on the relationship. Although, if you’re living with someone and you leave the house, it’s common courtesy to share where you’re going

Jai: Is it OK to give a man a time frame on commitments?

DY: Arbitrary ultimatums usually backfire.

Felisa: I’ve been in a relationship with my man for 10 months. We have been engaged for 6 months, but we only see each other maybe twice a week. I am getting impatient. I want him to move in asap but he wants to wait until marriage, I don’t know why, we’re already doing everything else. What should I do stick it out or move on?

DY:I think you need to chill. You’re already doing things rather fast, so no need to rush the living situation as well