So you’ve met him. He’s charming, funny, smart excellent. The only problem is you’re not attracted to him. He doesn’t do it for you and you’re not interested. You’ve tried to look past the lack of attraction but it’s not working. If you need to let him down, make sure you do it the right way so you don’t burn any bridges and could possibly keep a friend.
1. Be a woman about it
Whether it’s been a few days of unwanted flirtation or you’ve been going out with him for a month, there’s no time like the present. You should tell him now, as opposed to stringing him along. Now, with that being said there’s a difference between taking the time to determine if you could be attracted to someone and knowing there is no chance in hell you’ll ever be an item. If you’re the latter instead of the former, it’s time to grow some ovaries and let him know you’re not interested as soon as possible so the healing process can begin.
2. Explain your reasons…honestly
As you’re telling him that you don’t like him like that make sure you don’t lie. None of that I’m not looking to date right now crap- because if the right man came along you’d gladly run through a field of daisies into his arms. We all know what it’s like to care for somebody so much that you look for…or make up signs and clues that they feel the same way. If you tell him you’re not looking to date right now, you may lead him to believe one day you will be and you’ll choose him. And that’s just not true. Respect him enough to be honest.
3. Flatter to cushion the blow
While he may not be the man of your dreams, it doesn’t mean he’s a horrible person. (In the case he is a horrible person, you can stop stressing right now. Just get out, even if you have to be a little crass about it.) While you’re breaking his heart, let him know that you think he’s a good person and that’s why you’ve taken so long to tell him. Even though he’ll feel dejected, you can at least list his good qualities.
4. Give it some time.
If you’re interested in maintaining a friendship with this person, don’t rush it. You can’t just go back to normal when he’s been harboring feelings this entire time, while you were just kicking it with a good friend. He’ll most likely need some time to get over the rejection before he’s able to hang out with you again, if ever.
5. Make sure your future Behavior Corresponds with your Words
Sometimes we find ourselves in the clingy man predicament because no one else is checking for us at the moment and we like, need, want the attention. Enter the sweet, attentive, kind, smart driven man we have no attraction to whatsoever. It sucks to reject a good man and an all around decent person; but once the deed is done, don’t waver. When you’re sitting alone in your apartment bored, don’t call him if your feelings haven’t changed. If you’re still repulsed by the thought of him touching you, leave it alone. You’ll only contribute to his false hope and make yourself the “bad guy” in the end.
