Exclusive: Fefe Dobson On Her Fears, Her Music and Her Dad

Fefe, how have you been? What have you been up to?

I’m good first of all. I’ve been basically just doing a lot of promo for my album “Joy” that came out in November. I’m about to do my own tour in Canada as well as release my new single Can’t Breathe. I just got off a girls rock hard tour.

Tell us a little bit about the first moment you knew you were going to do music professionally.

All my life really, when I was really young. Ever since I could remember I’ve always first of all loved music and second of all felt like I needed to be a part of music. I never really worried about anything else. I never thought about the national honors or when you grow up in school or kindergarten and you say ‘one day I want to be a fire truck driver.’ I just never thought of anything else but music. I watched Disney movies and copied them. I always knew I had to do something in the arts. I can’t give you a specific time when I realized. It was something that was so natural that I just kind of grew into it.

We know your mother played a big role in exposing you to music, how did she respond when she learned you wanted to make a career out of it?

It’s really interesting because I went to a music theater high school, I loved theater but I wanted to do more contemporary music. I’d go home after all day at school in high school and start working on demo tapes. I’d have work to do and I’d be like ‘mom I have this math test’ and she’d be like well go up and sing first, up in your room, practice your vocals and strengthen your voice. So I would be singing to Celine Dion and Mariah Carey so I could strengthen my vocals. And then make demo tapes to Lisa Lisa, Janet Jackson “Black Cat.” My mom really let me skip the whole learning thing, going to school and learning and just let me focus on music. She always nurtured it naturally because she knew that was where I was supposed to go, so I just followed her.

You released your first album then you took a break and isolated yourself from radio and TV while you were working on your next one. Why did you feel like you needed to do that?

Well one I toured my first record when I was 17, got off tour when I was like 20. Then started working on my second record, what was supposed to be my second album “Sunday Love.” Which because of Island Def Jam and I splitting up, didn’t get released. I was in like a limbo for a while because when you split with your label you take a second to regain your footing and figure out where your next step is. Do I sit here and be depressed because for me, in my mind, I’d lost everything or do I get back on the way and start writing this record, regardless if I have a label to back me or not? That took me some time. It’s something I needed to figure out. It’s a lot of emotional things you have to fight.

When I started making “Joy”, the record that’s out now, the reason why I didn’t listen to radio because I couldn’t stand to listen to radio. In my opinion I was not turned on by radio, by what was playing and I didn’t want to mold or fall into the trap of making cheesy music. It was either stick to my roots or fall into the trap of figuring out what’s hot and following that. I didn’t want to do that. You can actually hear on my album when I started listening to Indie rock stuff. Then when I resigned with Island I knew that I needed to have some “pop-ier” songs for it to get played on the radio. And let me tell you I love pop music at the same time, not cheesy pop, but good pop. But let me tell you, I love pop music. I’ve been to every N’Sync concert, I was like a nerd. I sat in the front row and cried all the time.

Then later, you opened for Justin Timberlake.

I did. That’s why it’s so funny because when I was living in the suburbs I would save up all my money to go to these concerts. Don’t get me wrong though, it was such a weird thing because like I say I grew up and my mom would play Lionel Ritchie and the Bee Gees and pop music and then my sister played rock and roll stuff, like Guns and Roses and Nirvana. That’s kind of how I was in high school I could listen to N’Sync and then listen to Green Day. So whenever N’Sync would come into town I would buy a ticket and every time they’d come I’d get closer and closer and closer to the front. It became like a ritual with me and my sister. I would cry when Justin would sing “Gone,” like ‘Justin, one day you’ll know me.’ Then he took me on tour. After he took me on tour, I was a little older so I didn’t cry

Did you tell him you were a fan?

No way! Oh my gosh. I would be so embarrassed. He doesn’t even know. He took me on tour and I was a fan. I had his marionette dolls, I had every C.D. I still do. I was like a mega teeny N’Sync bopper.

You’re half black so we know a lot of people thought you were an R&B singer. Can you speak to the importance of maintaining the integrity of your music?

Honestly I’ve always not let people change me. And as I’ve gotten older that’s just kind of the way I am. My combination and my energy is Rock and Roll but that doesn’t mean in the future I wouldn’t make a country album or a reggae album, you know I’m half Jamaican. The way I speak and the way I walk and the fact that I’m in love with Jimmy Hendrix and Janis Joplin, that kind of stuff is never going to change because that’s just my core. But R&B, I listen to R&B, I grew up on R&B from Lionel Ritchie to Marvin Gaye to El Debarge I grew up on it. And the song writing is unbelievable. If we’re talking about real Rhythm and Blues, that’s a different thing, because R&B is originally Rhythm and Blues. I have mad respect for that music, for that genre. I may have harder guitars on something but back in the day music was organic. There was live instruments on almost every genre. It’s just who I am and it just so happens that I make the music that I make and I look up to the artists that I look up to. I love all genres really. I mean look at Lenny Kravitz. He’s going to make music that he feels. So I don’t ever want to put myself in a box with anything. I always just want to make music but my core and my energy and my foundation will always be Rock and Roll because that’s who I am.

How do your personal experiences influence your music?

They influence everything really. If you look at “Unforgiven,” which is on the first album, that was about my father not being around and in my mind at 17 or 18, him being unforgiven. Now I’m writing more and I’ve just made a new album and now I’m in a different place in my life. Now I’m going to write about maybe my father in a different light or a relationship in a different light.

I write a lot about love because to me, love really is the core of everything. I really am moved by relationships and the intensity that relationships create, the beauty and the pain. Love is so many colors really.

We’ve heard that you’re trying to rekindle the relationship with your father, how’s that going?

It’s been the last two years now. It’s pretty wild. It’s kind of different calling him dad, daddy or whatever. It’s different. The thing that’s hardest, I couldn’t say to you that ‘oh he’s back in my life and everything is peachy keen’ because it’s not easy for a man to come back in a woman’s life and try to be a father and say ‘don’t do drugs.’ Dad I know this, I learned this. But it’s very sweet and I have a lot of compassion for him. He’s a good man. He’s teaching me a lot about my roots and a lot of things I didn’t know which I believe is a major part of growing. Putting those puzzle pieces in the puzzle and putting it all together, it’s very cool.

We heard about your fear of contacts and how you performed legally blind, so what other fears do you have and how do you overcome them?

Any other fears?… walking alone at night sometimes. I have fears. My main fear is not being a good person, really. I’m very conscious of how I treat people. I never want to hurt someone so that’s a fear of mine, like hurting someone. How do I overcome fears? I think just like growing up, you learn from mistakes. That helps with those internal fears. Also positive thinking really does help. I tell people in my life, everyday look in the mirror and tell yourself, you’re beautiful, you’re awesome. Get rid of those emotional fears. That was told to me once when I was really young, by one of my band members. So I just pass that on. A lot of times our fears are just created, first of all because of the unknown and also we’re hard ourselves as human beings. There’s ways to kind of clear your mind.

…I just realized I have a fear of losing my teeth! I know there’s technology now, that can give me new teeth. But I always dream that my baby teeth, that I still have my baby teeth that they come out in my dream and then I realize they’re not my baby teeth, that they’re actually grown up teeth and I’ll never get them back. That freaks me out! That scares me. That’s my nerdy fear.

What other type of message would you like to send to younger girls who are watching you?

There’s a thing right now on the internet, now we see artists that we look up to, putting pictures of themselves naked on the internet. These young girls are so influenced by their idols and people they look up to musically. I always just tell young girls, respect your body and love yourself. Like I said tell yourself you’re beautiful. It’s really hard because young, young girls want to wear little shorts, protect yourself. It’s a world out there, if you don’t love yourself, no one else will.

What do you see yourself doing in the next 5-10 years, what is your dream for your career?

To get to a point where I’m selling out my own tours. I would love that. That’s the goal. And by doing that reaching more masses, more people and telling my story, hearing other people’s stories, sharing stories and hopefully making tons more albums.