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You might think stepping back in these situations makes you patient, calm, understanding, wise and all that but newsflash: plenty of women speak up at these times and not only do their men not run, they respect them for it! Here are 8 times you’re probably being too understanding of your man.
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When he orgasms and you don’t
He already went through all the foreplay, he asked you if you needed to change positions, but in the end, you just didn’t orgasm, he did, and now he’s asleep. And you tell yourself, “He’s tired now. It would be selfish of me to make him put more energy into this. In fact, he might even find it a turn off if I’m pushing about making him make me orgasm.”
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Speak up!
Deep down, your guy knows he should do whatever he has to to make you orgasm! Heck, he gets to orgasm pretty much every single time you guys have sex! Believe me: he won’t be surprised if you ask him to keep at it. He’s been surprised that you haven’t asked him. And he will actually find it a turn on that you own your sexuality a little bit more.
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When he watches TV/plays video games when you’re over
When you go over there, unless it’s specified you guys had special plans, he just goes on about what he would do if you weren’t there, and you have to entertain yourself. You tell yourself it’s nice that he’s that comfortable with you, and you can’t expect him to entertain you all the time.
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Speak up!
Sure, it is great that he is comfortable with you. But he shouldn’t be playing video games or watching TV most times you go over there. If that’s what he wanted to do, he should have let you have the night to go hang with your friends! It’s not your job to keep him company while he ignores you. Your time is precious. He can either turn the damn TV off and talk to you, or you can just hang another night when he is feeling more up to it.
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When he won’t introduce you to his family
When they visit, you don’t get to meet them. He explains that it’s because he rarely gets to see them, and coordinating a time for you to meet them when they’re only in town for 48 hours is tough. You understand and you would never take away from his family time, so you don’t complain.
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Speak up!
News flash: if a guy is keeping you from his family it’s either because he knows you’re not the one OR he wants to wait until he proposes. And those things are unfair and unreasonable. If he knows you’re not the one, he’s wasting your time. If he thinks he has to wait to propose so as to not get his family’s hopes up for nothing, or something like that, he is way too skittish! Meeting the family doesn’t have to be such a big deal. And you can tell him that.
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When he always wants to sleep at his place
He sleeps better there. It’s quieter there. He doesn’t have a roommate and you do, so he says you two won’t bother anyone at his place. His place is closer to work for him, and since you work from home it doesn’t matter where you sleep. And so on and so forth. All his reasons are, well, reasonable, so you just sleep at his place all of the time.
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Speak up!
It doesn’t matter whose place it “makes more sense” to sleep at. Sometimes, you want to be at your own place and you want your guy with you! You don’t want to have to choose between being with your guy or being in your own home where you’re most comfortable. You shouldn’t have to “win” the argument over where you two sleep: the fact that it would make you happy to have him sleep over should be reason enough.
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When it’s “not a good time to fight”
You bring up something you’re upset about, and he tells you he’s already had his mother and his boss get mad at him that day, and he just can’t handle one more person being mad at him. So you put your issue on the backburner.
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Speak up!
It doesn’t matter if your emotions are inconvenient for your man! Does he think they’re convenient for you to have? You sort of put your life on hold while you wait for him to be “ready” to talk. That’s not fair, either. He needs to man up.
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When he forgets about your anniversary
You tell yourself, “Well, it’s not really clear when it is anyways…maybe he thinks it’s two months after our first date, or our fifth date, or when we slept together the first time…”
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Speak up!
Okay, it doesn’t matter if his idea of your anniversary is your idea of it, but he better have some idea of it. In other words, if you’ve been together for a long time, he should be conscious of the time of the year at least when you met. And he should decide on some date on which he plans a special date or surprise for you. Not having a set date is no excuse to have not even a vague one.
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When he stops planning real date nights
He is low on money, or just really tired, so he doesn’t want to go out as much anymore. Instead he wants to do what has already been mentioned: play video games or watch TV while you sit next to him. And you don’t say anything because you know he can’t afford dates right now.
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Speak up!
It’s not about the date: it’s about the thought behind it. Your guy should be planning a board game night with you, or picking out a cheap recipe you can make together or something. And you’re allowed to say that.
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When he gauges how important the event is, before going
You want him to come to an event with you, and before answering he asks, “How important is it to you? Are your close friends going to be there or just your acquaintances? Will it look bad if I don’t come?” And you tell yourself, “Well, it’s not his event so, he’s allowed to judge whether or not it’s worth his time.”
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Speak up!
It doesn’t matter if nobody would notice if he was there or not, or if he’ll only meet people he’ll never see again: if you tell him you want his company, that should be reason enough. Sometimes when he’s really tired or just had a busy week, sure, he can gage how important the event really is to you. But that shouldn’t be his fallback plan every time.
