Thoughts And Behaviors That Are Keeping You Single
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Though you may not want to admit it, the fact remains that, for the most part, we control the direction in which our love life goes. No matter if it’s your lack of action, the idea that you’re comfortable with your current status, or that your mindset is holding you back, it’s plenty possible that you’re the one keeping yourself from getting into a relationship. Here are just a few thoughts and behaviors that are keeping you single.
You think he will come to you
When it comes to dating, you’re one of those relaxed women who will go on dates when the opportunity arises, but other than that, you’re not actively out there trying to find the guy who is right for you. The biggest issue in thinking that a man will find you instead of you actively looking is that you let chance pass you by. If you want to not be single, you have to take the leap of faith into dating, head-on.
You have an extremely negative attitude
We have all been hurt by a relationship but after some time has passed, it’s important that you’re able to get over those emotions and realize that things can and will be better with a new relationship. If you’re one of those women who thinks that all men cheat, all men are jerks, and that all men are just looking for sex, your attitude is a pure man-repellent. Look on the positive side of things if you really want to date someone.
You lack self-confidence, self-esteem, and self-worth
Bad relationships definitely take their toll, but in order for a relationship to work successfully, you’ll need to go into it feeling confident, worthy, and comfortable with yourself. If you think you don’t deserve a great man or if you think that you’re not pretty enough to be someone’s woman, then you’re going to be single for a long time. These types of thoughts will only do more emotional damage. Work on changing and improving yourself, inside and out.
All the good men are taken
Though it may be hard to imagine it, there are billions upon billions of people in this world, and while you may think that the good guys are getting snatched up left and right, there are always more great men in the world that are single and looking, just like you. Don’t let an ex-boyfriend ruin the idea that there are no great men or that all of the great men out there are already taken. The key is to keep your eyes and ears open!
You tend to have sex on the first date
Having sex too soon may have its perks, but it also has its downfalls. Though the time spent between the sheets may be exciting and while you may think that good sex will keep a man interested in you, the fact is that for most men, when sex is introduced into the picture early, they’re only looking to pay attention to you for a short amount of time. Once he finds another woman who is willing to be bed buddies, then he’s on to the next one. Don’t hold out forever, but don’t give it away the first night either.
You’re extremely picky
When it comes to dating and relationships, it’s important that you’re able to find a balance between dating and your expectations. You can’t go into the dating world with a list of expectations five pages long. Having expectations and requirements in a man is good, but having too many means that you’re extremely unlikely to find a man who meets every single one of your wants and needs. Be a little lax and you’ll vastly expand your possibilities.
You over-analyze men
We all have our flaws and let’s face it, after just a few dates, there’s no way of really knowing someone inside and out. However, when you start dating a man and letting your guard down, more often than not, you find something that he did wrong or something that didn’t sit right with you and you dwell on it. Maybe he didn’t open that door for you or maybe he’s on his phone way too much. Whatever the issue may be, you harp on it, over-analyze it, and in the end you decide not to go on future dates with this guy. Digging too deeply into things and being way too cautious can definitely keep you single.
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You’re unwilling to learn and change
When a relationship ends, you should always take some sort of lesson away from it. Maybe you were too controlling or maybe you were extremely jealous and your man just wasn’t willing to put up with it for any longer. If you’re unwilling to take lessons from past relationships, you’re bound to repeat them time and time again. Allow yourself to change and be sure you do so before you get into another relationship.
You’re stuck on someone who isn’t available
Though we never want it to happen, there are times when we start to like and want a man who is completely unavailable to us. Maybe he’s already in a relationship or maybe he’s not looking to be with someone at the time, but whatever the case may be, despite the fact that this guy isn’t available to you, you refuse to let go and move on to someone different.
You need to be in a relationship
When you’re in a relationship you’re happy and life is good. However, when you’re single, you find that you slowly slip into a state of depression. If being in a relationship is the only source of happiness that you have in life, you’re bound to be extremely clingy and annoying, and most men can sense this right off the bat. Work on finding happiness in yourself before pursuing a relationship. Clingy women tend to stay single for a long time.
You’re a horrible date
Dates are meant to be fun, exciting, and a time where you learn about your date and let him know who you are. However, you won’t go very far in the dating world if you’re a horrible date. Is your phone glued to your hand during each date you go on? Do you complain a lot? Do you talk about you and only you? If you’re a bad date, you’ll need to change your methods and actions or else you’ll be single for a good while.
You don’t believe in love
If you truly believe that love is dead, then your thoughts will completely ruin any chances you have when it comes to dating and finding a relationship. Your beliefs are reality and when you think that love isn’t real and that you’re bound to be alone forever, then that is exactly what will happen. Change your thoughts and your reality changes with them.
You don’t filter the advice you get
When you talk to your friends and family about dating, it’s likely that you’ll get all sorts of advice and information. While some of this advice may be good, some of it is probably bad as well. If you follow bad dating advice, then you’re only setting yourself up for failure. Be wise with the advice that you decide to listen to and take to heart.
You have an over-inflated sense of self
Having confidence is important and knowing who you are is even more important, but you can’t be successful in dating if your sense of self is over-inflated. Don’t pretend to be someone you aren’t and don’t talk yourself up just to seem more exciting and cool. Be you and be happy with who you are.
