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When you’re dating somebody new, conversation topics tend to be on the lighter side — you just want to have fun, go out, and have sex. That’s why it can be hard to notice right away if the man you’re dating isn’t supportive of your career. But here are 14 signs you’re dating a man who just plans on turning you into a housewife, and prefers you didn’t work.

 

 

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His enthusiasm for your accomplishments is brief

When you talk for ten minutes about how incredible you did in a presentation, how impressed your colleagues were, or how excited you are about a new opportunity, he simply gives you a little pat on the knee and says, “That’s great babe” and gets back to what he was doing. No follow up questions. No “Let’s get dinner and celebrate!”

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He talks at you about your work, not with you

When you talk about a problem or concern you’re having with your career, he gives you a quick, concise, lecture-like solution, in a tone that doesn’t leave the topic up for much more discussion, and then he changes the subject. He doesn’t facilitate a back and forth dynamic in talks about your work.

 

 

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He encourages you to befriend said wives/girlfriends

Even though you have a great circle of female friends already (friends who are career-oriented), your boyfriend constantly tries to set up “dates” between you and the wives or girlfriends of his friends, and encourages you to try things they’re into like joining the tennis club or taking a pottery class.

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He wants to travel a lot

He is always talking about the next place he’d like to take you, as if it’s already been settled. He has long, elaborate trips all mapped out—trips you’d undoubtedly have to take lots of time off of work to go on—and it doesn’t seem to have crossed his mind that maybe, because of your job, you couldn’t go.

 

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He makes plans for you, without asking you

He tells you that the two of you are having dinner with some colleagues of his next weekend. Any man who hopes to dominate the social calendar won’t want a career woman for a wife who might leave him going stag (gasp!) to an event because she’s at work.

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You mostly hang out with his friends

Somehow, he always convinces you that what his friends are doing for the night is the best thing to do, rather than what your friends are doing. He’s trying to acclimate you to running in a circle of people in which the women don’t work, and trying to draw you away from your friends who talk about careers and put ambitious ideas in your head.

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He says he doesn’t want to talk about work after work

He straight up cuts you off when you bring up your work and says, “I’d rather we not talk about work after work. I want my mind off of that.” In other words, you’re looking at a lifetime of holding in worries and ideas about your career if you stick with this guy.

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He suggests menial jobs for you

Even though you already have a job, he oddly suggests other jobs for you like the secretary position that just opened up at his friend’s firm, or the HR position at his brother’s office. He wants to try and put you in a job in which there is no upward movement, so that he can at least control how much time your work takes up.