9 Reasons You Should & Shouldn’t Text Your Ex For New Year’s

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My own limited research has shown me that women tend to take texting far more seriously than men do. We’ll agonize over word choice, the intention behind our tone, how the recipient might perceive our tone, and even where to place punctuation. I know I could be exposing my own neuroses, but I’d bet good money that I’m not alone. In fact, I’m guessing that quite a few of you are starting to get a little anxious right now, debating whether or not you should send a “Happy New Year” text to your ex later tonight. It’s a loaded question right? Is it the “right” thing to do since you’re over him (or to prove you’re over him)? Could a text this time of year spark a rekindling between the two of you? Or do you need to leave your ex in the past, season’s greetings and all? When in doubt, my momma always told me to make a pros and cons list, so here’s ours. Check out these reasons you should and should not text your ex before the start of 2020.

PS: When you get to the end of this article, you’ll likely notice this list is a little unbalanced. That’s mostly because, in many instances, the reasons not to text your ex outweigh the reasons to reach out and send a message. You have a bit of time left before the ball drops, so after you read this list, take a moment to think about why you want to reach out and you should be able to make the right decision.

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Should

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You wouldn’t mind reconnecting

If you feel like homeboy might be the one that got away, by all means go ahead and reach out. Striking up a conversation with a man from the past and the fear of rejection can sometimes make you nervous but holidays have a way of softening people. This would be the perfect time to put your feelers out there. If you’re lucky his response will shed some light on whether or not he’s still interested.

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You’re truly over it and you want to be friends now

If you know that you know that you know you’re over your ex romantically and would like to keep that person as a friend, then by all means go ahead and wish him a Happy New Year. But don’t be surprised if he interprets your reaching out to mean something else. Which brings me to my next point…

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You know how to say no

The Happy New Year text opens up some floodgates. And you have to really know what you hope to gain from this exchange before the waters come rushing in. So, if you just meant to be friendly and he’s asking you what you’re wearing right now, you have to know, beforehand, that you’re strong enough to shut the flirting down…immediately. If even a tiny part of you entertains telling him what color your panties are, then you probably aren’t over him. And shouldn’t text. If, on the other hand, you’re confident in your shut down skills, text away.

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You genuinely want to wish that person good luck and good fortune in the new year

If you’re still cool with this person and you know this was a rough year for him or her, there’s nothing wrong with letting that person know you care about their happiness and are hoping things start looking up.

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Shouldn’t

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You don’t want to open that door again

If the person you’re thinking about texting brought nothing but stress and heartache into your life, don’t ever do it. If you’ve had to fight to get that toxic cretin out of your life, there’s no need to lay down and willingly invite them back in. If you know this person will bring nothing positive to your life but you still want to wish them well, think good thoughts about him or her and send them into the universe or throw up a prayer. No need to make it a two- way conversation.

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You don’t really mean it

Are you one of those people who texts as many people as possible on your contact list just to “be nice”? That’s sweet but it doesn’t have to be that way. Especially with an ex. If you haven’t thought about that person since 1973 and you only considered texting them because their name showed up, save your energy for the people who you actually value and appreciate in your life now. Nothing is more impersonal than a meaningless, forwarded, generic text.

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You’re starting mess

By this, I mean if you know this dude is currently in a committed relationship but quick to succumb to the flesh, then don’t be messy. All of that is empty, karma is real and you don’t want to start the new year off with some unnecessary drama. You can never underestimate the sleuth skills and wrath of a woman who’s with an unfaithful man. Be careful…just don’t do it.

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You’ve been drinking

If you’ve been drinking, hopefully you’re out with a group of people who know you and have your best interests at heart. If not, reevaluate. But if so, tell them off top before the night really gets going, that you’re not trying to send any Marvin’s Room, Drake-esque texts this New Year.

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You’re scared

We’ve talked about this. The turning of the tide and the emergence of a New Year can really cause you to take stock of your life and evaluate what you want, and maybe have yet to accomplish. If one of those goals is being in a serious, committed relationship and you’re not, this is absolutely not the time to text your ex. If you want to be with him because he’s a good person and you want to try again, fine. But if the real reason behind you reaching out is because you’re scared of being alone in 2020, leave it alone.

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9 Reasons You Should & Shouldn't Text Your Ex For New Years