Who is the “loud” sister? She’s the one everyone can hear cackling on her phone in the break room. She is the woman heard throughout restaurants. She’s the chick yelling across parking lots.
The perception of a loud black woman is that of an uncouth, ghetto banshee; and, while it could be entirely wrong, it’s what runs through the minds of people passing by the girl screaming into her phone. Perceptions derive from a series of impressions and are often the basis from which people are judged. The stereotype of the loud black woman is not going anywhere any sooner than that of welfare baby mamas. So, if unknowingly loud women want to be perceived differently, they have to turn it down. Well, at least until they’ve exceeded their goals…
If you are an intelligent, bright, level-headed sister that happens to project more often than necessary, adjusting your volume is not about changing who you are. It’s about playing the game to get what you want. However, if you are the ‘hood chick bumping your gums beyond loud at work, you may want to reevaluate some of the reasons you may be where you are in life. One of them could be that the voice you have “carries.” For whatever the reason, there are several of us who could use a deduction in our default volume. Here are a few tips for turning down the noise level and turning up success:
1. Enroll in an etiquette class
Or take notes from a book at the store if a class is out of the budget. Nothing will polish you up faster than a lesson in good manners, because being loud is rude.
2. Regularly attend professional networking events
The more you interact socially on a professional level, the better your overall decorum will become. Speaking at an even, appropriate volume will grow to be more natural.
3. Drink a glass of wine
Sometimes we are loud because we’re too high strung. Wine is relaxing and can help calm the intensity of your tone.
4. Turn down the volume on entertainment
Reducing the noise in your daily life can assist in decreasing the level at which you are inclined to communicate.
5. Reinvent yourself
At times, changes in our behavior don’t seem complete without outward expression. Try adding a few simple, tailored items to your wardrobe or replacing the Diana Ross weave with something a little less va-voom.
6. Find an accountability buddy
Many of us are unaware of how loud we are so it helps to have a voice of reason and witness to reel us back in when the conversation gets out of hand.
7. Journal or chart your days without yelling
Tracking small victories keeps up motivation and determination. It helps to compare where you are today to where you originated.
8. Over exaggerate lady-like behavior
Fake it, wholeheartedly, until you make it. Chances are you will end up at a happy medium because you began on an extreme.
