Mary J. Blige has a role in the new Christmas movie “Black Nativity,” which comes out today …and we really want to be excited about it. But Lord, it’s hard. We love Mary J. Blige. And we really want to love her acting. But she’s been struggling with scripts for so long that we’re losing the faith.
Her Platinum Afro in Black Nativity
“Black Nativity” isn’t even out yet, but we’ve seen the trailer and it doesn’t look good. They have Mary playing an angel in a big curly white wig named “Platinum Fro”… And she only sings one song so there’s a lot of room for dialogue which, as we know, Mary struggles with.
Her Nerves Get the Best of Her
Mary said that she struggled with a bad case of nerves when playing Tanya the bartender in Tyler Perry’s box-office hit “I Can Do Bad All By Myself.” Unfortunately, we could tell.
Betty and Coretta
We can’t understand why Mary would want to act opposite Angela Bassett — one of the best actresses of all time — when she knows her acting skills are…rusty. We’re with you Mary, but you’ve got to crawl before you walk.
The Roles She Chooses
The roles Mary J chooses certainly don’t help her acting career. In the musical “Rock of Ages,” Mary plays “Justice,” a strip club owner with a heart of gold. And the few lines they make her deliver sound just as stale as the role they made her play.
Her Burger King Commercial
Almost immediately after Mary J.’s Burger King spot hit the internet, it was a laughing stock. This one isn’t entirely Mary’s fault: Burger King thought the best way to showcase Mary’s talent was to have her stand on a table and sing about the ingredients in a fried chicken sandwich. They both knew better.
Her Ghost Whisperer Episode
In this episode, Mary plays a cheer leading coach named Jackie whose squad is being attacked by an evil ghost. The character sounds crazy, but Mary’s acting was almost on the level of a CSI extra. That’s actually good for Mary even if it wasn’t great to watch.
Sometimes She’s Worse Than An Amateur
We were excited when we heard that Mary J. got a cameo on season 3 of “30 Rock”. Unfortunately, even in a role where a bunch of other non-actors had speaking parts, Mary manages to be the worst of the bunch. She sounds like she’s reading from poorly-written cue cards.
She Might Be the Worst Actress Ever
Until this moment I had no idea that you could do a bad job at acting and not say a word. We don’t know where she thinks she’s going with that walk but it’s definitely not to the Emmy’s.
Her Acting is Getting Worse
We’ve been on Mary’s case for a minute now, but here’s the most confusing part: Mary’s very first acting gig was on the “Jamie Foxx Show” in 1998 and she was good. This whole episode is evidence that practice doesn’t always make perfect. Or maybe she stopped practicing after she killed her first stab at it.
Mary’s HSN Spot
When Mary’s being herself without a script we love her. We vote that she stars in a reality show instead of trying to memorize another script.
