The Christmas holiday season is one of the most beautiful times of year. It is the pocket of the year when people put aside personal agendas to spend time with family and friends. However, along with delicious dinners, catching up and memorable roundtable discussions, there is usually a little (or a lot) of drama.
Every family has their tokens, like the pretentious aunt or cousin who strips. Varying life experiences, choices and opinions tend to breed conflict. Why? Someone always crosses the blurred line separating inquisitive from insulting, asking rhetorical questions rooted in judgment. Sometimes, for the sake of the aura, it is best to keep conversations P.C. (or politically correct). Christmas is one of those times.
So, even though you think (and don’t understand why) your brother is a disappointment, stay tight-lipped. There are better times, aside from Christmas, to have these arguments:
Why haven’t you finished school, yet?
Lay this issue to rest for the time-being. Family members who have been working on their first degree for seven years, depending on circumstances, may get offended.
Now, how many kids is that for you?
This isn’t the time to remind your cousin with six kids by four different women that he has six kids by four different women. Just ask about how his children are doing and leave it at that.
Why do Black people just give their votes to the Democratic Party?
If you’re the family Republican, this is a no-no. Politics are always touchy. With a Black president and heightened racial tensions, expressing disapproval could cause a riot.
Is God real?
Religion is not the way to go in mixed company when you want to have a good time. Leave your spiritual ponderings for smaller, less generationally broad settings.
When was the last time you spoke to your father?
Bad move if Daddy wasn’t there. It may drum up damaging memories that cause the individual to lash out.
When are you going to get a job?
Whether or not the person is lazy or a victim of the recession, leave it alone. The person who is lazy probably doesn’t recognize their laziness and sees nothing wrong. And, the person who’s been looking for months is likely frustrated. Unless you’re offering employment, nothing good can come of it.
Are you going to pay me back?
Money and family are sticky situations. People get a little funny when conversations turn to money, so just wait.
How is (insert old boyfriend or girlfriend) doing?
Don’t bring up past relationships, especially if a new love interest is in attendance.
How did you get pregnant?
Translation: How could you be dumb enough to get pregnant? If she’s knocked, she probably feels bad enough. Christmas is the time to encourage not to beat someone up about a decision that’s already been made.
Don’t you think my mom makes this better?
Cooking is a sore spot and most of us are partial to our family’s style. So, don’t question or compare dishes when sharing holiday meals with your significant other’s family.
