Signs Your Work Associate is Not Your Friend - MadameNoire

Spread your business

You know you shouldn’t be discussing all of your personal business on the job. So one major red flag that your associate is not your friend is if they have a willingness to spread your info. Have you ever spoken to a co-worker in confidence only to have that same information get back to you by someone else – whether in passing or directly? Not cool at all.

Give you backhanded praise

“Oh you got that raise? That’s a surprise.”

Why can’t we all just get along and be happy for each other without throwing shade? Be careful of people who give you backhanded compliments. You don’t need to surround yourself with negativity or be around someone who is so salty about your success they may try to undermine it. Besides, with friends like that, who needs enemies?

Only come to you when they need something

Okay so this is not a back stabber but rather someone who just uses you when it’s favorable for them. Don’t let your kindness or willingness to help others get abused by people who don’t appreciate it. Even if your office has a doormat at the front, that does not mean that people can use you as they see fit.

Give you the cold shoulder

Hopefully this doesn’t happen if you are working on a group project! If a co-worker who you consider a “friend” constantly blows you off or gives you the cold shoulder, either they are super busy or just don’t care for you in the same manner you do for them. Examples include canceling lunch outings, keeping conversations short or just flat out dodging you around the office. May seem obvious, but there are lots of people who, in an effort to be friendly, will ignore the signs that are right in front of them.

Constantly criticizes your work

Um is your co-worker your boss or just a fellow associate? Why are they going in on you so hard?

Though no one should roll their eyes at constructive criticism as it can help you, there is something to be said about people who always find something to nag or nitpick about. Sure there are analytical people out there but really ask yourself if the goal of their “critique” is to build you up, or pull you down to make themselves feel better.

Way too nosy

Granted some people actually care about you and what goes on in your life. A key frenemy trait is to thrive on news that others are doing poorly as if it will make them feel 100 percent better about themselves. It’s one thing if your co-worker follows up on an issue you two discussed in the past. It’s another if they are constantly coming to you for drama that they may spread around to others.

Rat you out

Holy crap you came to work late or made a boo boo on something. Life goes on! Stay far away from people who you thought were your friends but really rat you out to other co-workers and even your boss. And don’t let them get away with the “I was just messing around” comment. If you go out of your way to point out another’s shortcomings (and make them publicly known), you are not a real friend.

Put you down in public

Do you find yourself being the brunt of your co-worker’s jokes all the time? Are you afraid of what your friend will say when you’re in a meeting or gathered with a group of colleagues at the water cooler? If so, you might want to question the motives and true feelings of your so-called friend. It’s one thing if you can’t take a joke but a completely different story if they use you as a punching bag for their antics, especially around others.

Try to sabotage you

Sometimes you just can’t trust everyone as much as you’d like to and the same thing goes with your friends – and people who you think are your friends. Back stabbing co-workers will first appear as your friend to gain information on you or a project you are working on. Once they have what you need, don’t be surprised if you start noticing things going wrong around you. Don’t get caught up in unnecessary office politics or drama.