12 WTH Questions About Sunday Night’s RHOA - Page 9

As usual, somebody at Bravo thought it was cute to put our McCrazy ‘housewives’ on the telly tube at 10 PM on a Sunday night, knowing good and well that mothers have to put Pookie to bed, and sisters have to wrap their doobies or cornrow their afros and get ready for all kinds of personal dramatics that come with Monday. In any case, since we are all shamelessly hopeless heathens of ‘Housewives,’ we can’t even pretend we don’t have yet another list of “12 WTH Questions About Sunday Night’s RHOA” ready for you, because we do. (Take the “W” in WTH to mean either who the heck, what the heck,why the heck or where the heck, mmkay)? Now, let’s get started…

1. WTH is Cynthia’s wedding in a museum of dinosaurs – what is she tryna say about Peter? LOL!
Is she trying to say that Peter, her fiance, is as old as a dinosaur? LOL! Juuussstt kidding! Oh how we love Cynthia and her eccentricities. She’s a smart, fun-loving lady who showed more of herself in this Sunday’s episode. A museum is an incredible place to have a wedding. Yet, Nene was reacting the same uncultured way to Cynthia’s museum wedding idea as she was reacting to Lisa’s “Asian side” of the family. Anything foreign or different throws Nene off. Travel beyond Atlanta, Nene. For looOoong periods of time! SMDH.

2. Seriously, WTH is the actual melody of that song, ‘The Ring Didn’t Mean a Thing?’
We heard the song the first time, as Kandi intended it, but then afterwards, Kim started singing it. Now, thanks to Kim, we don’t even know what the tune of the song is, what the point is, what the melody is, what the point is…what the…?!

3. WTH doesn’t realize by now that being an ATL “housewife” is a hazing process?
Notice how Nene, Sheree and Kim don’t have beef that dominates the show (so far)? That’s because they’re the veterans of the show, honey. They ‘done’ flipped each other off the couch, pulled each other’s wigs off…and now, it’s time for them to relax and laugh at Cynthia and Phaedra getting hazed. LOL @ Cynthia and Phaedra defending their business for no reason and arguing over lint hairs. It’s tickling.

4. WTH does Phaedra have to recite her resume every second?
Sheesh! Even when she’s stressed, Phaedra has to let you know who she is, what she does, and everything that’s on her resume! Did you hear her ultra-staged “call for help” to Kandi? She literally said, “help, Kandi. I’m a mom, wife, lawyer, businesswoman; I’m going a little bit crazy.” Yeah, you’re going a little crazy Phaedra? Ya think maybe if you stop repeating your resume every five seconds ya might start to feel a little less crazy? Just a thought. Worth gold. But for you: free of charge.

5. WTH were Nene’s son and his friend the most adorable two kids we’ve seen on the show in a while?
That interaction between Nene, her son, and his friend was too precious. Didn’t you just love how Nene’s little boy was so bright and loving? LMAO at his friend saying he refuses to let his dad cut his hair–and him adding: “I know, and my mom won’t let me grow an afro!” LOL! Cute.

6. WTH are RHOA sound bites so great?

Kim to Cynthia (on-scene): I don’t know, I was just weirded out by your friend contract.
Cynthia to Kim (off-scene): Really? Well, I’m weirded out that you think you can sing. I’m weirded out that you wear a wig. I’m weirded out that you had a full-on relationship with a married man.

*dead*

7. WTH did everybody think Cynthia was a weakling last Sunday–including some of you out there?
Cynthia is what you call a gentle giant…a…er…silent warrior…a…quiet storm. Whatever. You get the point. Don’t mess with her, honey, because she may not go boughetto on you and risk getting her money-making face scratched up, but she will set you straight. Love how she made it clear to Nene: “I am not in love with you” (read: don’t flatter yourself, heffa)…and “I am not obsessed with you.” Bwahaha…

9. SMH at Kandi’s pain! WTH can love be so painful sometimes?!
OMG…who else felt Kandi’s pain when she was singing that song about A.J. and thinking about how every guy she met after him didn’t give her the same feeling? Girl, you just wait and see. Just when you think you can’t love again…BOOYAKA! Your heart finds its home again.

Done.

10. WTH can we learn to smile while whooping somebody’s tail–like Kandi?
Why every time Kandi wants to whoop Kim’s bum, does she smile the widest smile ever? OMG, like, can you teach us how to do that Kandi? Because, seriously, when some of us are upset, you don’t wanna know what we looketh like.

11. WTH did Bravo think we didn’t notice the IKEA items in Sheree’s daughter’s apartment?
It’s fine to emphasize that Sheree has $7,500 to spend in a high-end furniture store for her daughter’s apartment, but, really though, she or her daughter may have mixed and matched that spending money in stores like Target and IKEA…because we’ve seen Sheree’s daughter’s huge lovely oak mirror in IKEA before and there’s not a thing wrong with that fact! Thus, don’t just emphasize “ability to spend,” Bravo and Sheree…emphasize some financial intelligence! That’s why the economy gets so frail. All this fronting with dollars and not enough damn sense.

12. WTH does every “more famous sibling” have a sister that’s her assistant?
It’s great that Cynthia and her older sister are able to work together, but holy Anjolie – does every “celebrity” have to make her sister an assistant? What do the “assistants” want to do beyond helping their siblings? Again, it’s a wonderful thing, but all I know is that if I made any one of MY older sisters “my assistant,” I would be the one assisting their behinds!

*BONUS* 13. In the after-show with Andy, WTH was that whole story about how Apollo met Phaedra really about?
In the after-show, “Watch What Happens…Why?” I mean, “Live,” Andy asks Apollo where he met Phaedra and his whole narrative was just bizzarre. Basically, in 1996, Apollo chased Phaedra down the highway when he was still in high school and she was a LAW STUDENT…and the rest was history. *blank stare* I wanna say that’s a really cute love story, but Phaedra’s name should be changed to Phrontra, because she ‘be’ phronting!!! How is she so “uppity and beyond” yet she’s willing to date a random-behind HIGH SCHOOL student off the damn I-285, when she’s in law school? OMG! You know you are a hood rat and a half deep down inside, so PLEASE stop phronting, Phaedra. I can’t take iiiit. Just can’t.

Good day.

For some of our previous reports on your favorite McCrazies, check out:

• For Sunday, Dec. 12, 2010: 12 WTH Questions About Sunday Night’s RHOA
• For Sunday, Dec. 5, 2010: 10 SMDH Questions About Sunday Night’s RHOA
• For Sunday, Nov. 28, 2010: 10 WTF Questions About Sunday Night’s RHOA
• For Sunday, Oct. 24, 2010: The Boughetto Housewives of Atlanta