Tips For Steamy and Safe Sex During Pregnancy

1) Consult Your Doctor: Pregnant sex is safe for most women; however, women with high-risk pregnancies (such as someone with placenta previa) or pre-existing physical conditions may be wise to avoid intercourse until delivery. Make sure that you discuss your desire to be physical with your OB/GYN. And no need to feel strange about that convo, she kinda knows you’ve gotten some before. Plus, you’re an adult, you should be comfortable talking to your doctor about sex. If you’re not, you shouldn’t be having any sex.

2) Choose The Safest Positions: You can safely lay on your back during the first trimester and perform a number of positions that don’t involve your partner crushing his weight atop your womb (for example: he can lay perpendicular to you or stand up over you as you lay close to the edge of the bed); however, it isn’t safe to be flat on your back after month four. Safe trimester two positions include girl-on-top (which you can also do while seated on a chair) and standing up, with your back to the wall. In trimester three, the spooning position (with him entering from behind) and ‘leap frog’ (similar to doggy style, but with your head and arms resting on the bed) are good as well.

3) Focus On Your Pleasure, Not Your Changing Body: The weight gain and the swollen ankles may not make you feel like a sex goddess at all times, but you should do your best to remember that a pregnant woman is a beautiful thing to behold. You are carrying a life! And the man with whom you share your bed should affirm your loveliness, even when you are having a pickle craving, pimply, puffy cheeked day from pregnancy hell. When you two make the time for a love making session, don’t focus on the things you don’t love about your temporary condition, but instead, the wonder of what you are creating…AND the hot sex you are about to have! Relax and enjoy the moment.

4) Try A Little Pampering: In order to get yourself sex ready, try taking a long bubble bath or shower with your favorite aromatherapy candles scenting the bathroom. Put on the perfume you love and only wear on special occasions (try a small spray at first, as pregnant women can sometimes be sensitive to smell and find that something they usually like turns their stomachs in excess). Put on something silky (if you don’t want to purchase maternity lingerie, try a nightgown that’s a couple sizes larger than you usually wear) and play your favorite bedtime music. By taking the time to make the occasion special, you can detract the focus from your fetus and put it back on you!

5) Keep Your Expectations Reasonable: Sex may end up being a bit trickier than you hoped; you may have a hard time getting comfy or find yourself frustrated that you aren’t able to get your leg up to the sky at the moment. As great as wild circus sex can be, just remember that you are doing something pretty damn important by bringing a life in to this world and that you can get your old tricks back in time. So don’t fret too much about the changes and try to enjoy what you have as best as you can.

6) Communication Is King: You and your partner may be feeling scared, uneasy or confused about this new, temporary phase in your sex life. Make sure that you are honest with him about your feelings and that you let him know that you care about his concerns as well. Take the time to speak to the doctor together or ask questions on his behalf on your next solo visit. Don’t do something that feels uncomfortable for the sake of pleasing him; now more than ever, you need to be totally honest when he says “Does that feel okay?”

7) Be Prepared For Some Changes: You may feel a little different after sex than you normally do. Some women experience uterus contractions or increased fetal activity after orgasm. This is normal and won’t affect the baby. Also, the increased blood volume and engorgement around your cervix may cause a little bleeding following intercourse. Not fun, but not cause for alarm either.  On the positive side, the increased blood flow in the pelvic area can make you more sensitive to touch in a good way and can heighten sexual pleasure.

8) Consider Alternatives: If intercourse is too difficult or uncomfortable, there is always manual simulation or even toys! You and your lover can still have a great sexual connection even if you can’t have traditional sex. Don’t get frustrated and give up all together, figure out creative ways to make it work and get it hot!

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