An ordinary city block can sometimes become an annoying or even terrifying gauntlet of cat calls, desperate staring and unwanted advances. It’s nice to know that someone finds you attractive, but some men don’t seem to know how to do that in a calm, respectful manner.
We’ve all experienced funny and not-so funny moments when confronted with street holler. One very important thing about responding to this situation is to always keep your safety in mind first. This might mean not saying “F#$k off!” like you would prefer to do, so as not to escalate an already uncomfortable encounter.
Here are a few common types of street holler and what you can do to avoid making the situation worse.
Type 1: The guy in a group of other guys
Avoidance Tactic: Be cool and keep it moving
This situation is tricky. Men in groups tend to egg each other on in foolishness, so you have to be very careful about how you respond to a man’s advances when he is in a large group. Humor is a good way to diffuse anxious moments. Try saying something clever that will make them laugh and give you some time for a quick get-away!
Type 2: The guy with the inappropriate “compliment”
Avoidance Tactic: Ignore
Why do some men think it’s okay to say “Damn, you got some Hot lips” to a woman they just met? You do not have to acknowledge everything that is said to you, especially if it’s inappropriate. If a man says something overtly sexual or otherwise left-field, ignore him and go about your business.
Type 3: The pesky, but seemingly harmless schlub
Avoidance Tactic: Smile, say “thank you” and keep it moving
This is the nice guy who seems pretty harmless, but is also relentless in his desire for your attention. He’ll throw out line after line after line as you walk past him. If he’s not saying anything disrespectful, just smile, say “thank you” and maintain your stride.
Type 4: The guy who touches you
Avoidance Tactic: Pepper spray his behind, get away as fast as you can (Report to police if necessary)
A stranger should not be intentionally putting his hands on you in any way shape or form without your permission. In the short term, in a situation like that, get out of the man’s grip (use pepper spray if you need to) and get away from him as fast as possible. If it is a violent touch, don’t be afraid to call out for help. If you feel the touch is an assault, get to the nearest police station and file a report.
Type 5: The completely disrespectful jerk
Avoidance Tactic: Eye roll and of course…keep it moving
Funny how sometimes if you spurn a man’s advances, you all of a sudden become “ugly” or “fat” or whatever else he can come up with in a short period of time. Roll your eyes all up in your head (whether he sees that or not) and walk your “ugly, fat” behind right to where you were heading in the first place.
Type 6: The mentally unstable person
Avoidance Tactic: Whatever feels right
Sometimes ignoring someone is the exact worse thing you can do. Ignoring someone can actually escalate a situation, especially if the person is mentally unstable. You’ll have to make a judgment call as to whether or not you can diffuse the situation with a calm (or even funny) response or if the better option is to ignore him all together.
Type 7: The courteous guy with a compliment
Avoidance Tactic: Smile, say thank you and keep it moving (unless you want to holla)
Not every guy who speaks to you on the street is a disrespectful moron. Some guys are nice, mannerable and charming. If a guy says “Good morning, you have a beautiful smile,” be kind enough to acknowledge the compliment and then go about your day. If you think the guy is cute, then shucks, give him the time of day if you want.
Type 8: The guy who walks “with you” down the block
Avoidance Tactic: Under no uncertain terms tell him to stop following you
Do not let some strange man walk with you towards your destination. Look him in the eye and tell him in a calm, assertive voice (Shout out to Cesar Milan!) to stop following you. If he doesn’t stop immediately, feel free to pepper spray him or get someone’s attention to get help and/or go into a store or business until he finds something else to do. Also, if you’re in some dark secluded place or you immediately feel uncomfortable, don’t even bother telling him to stop, just pepper spray him and get to gettin’.
Type 9: The kid with courage
Avoidance Tactic: Funny quip
Some of these young boys out here are cougar hunters. Every once in a while you might find yourself on the receiving end of some (probably) poorly delivered line from a teenager with a little peach fuzz on his face. Be flattered and be kind to the little lad…assuming that he came at you with respect, that is. Say something funny about him finding you in 10 years or something like that.
Type 10: The old ooooooold school playa
Avoidance Tactic: Have a laugh
Old guy holler is always funny. If somebody that looks like he might have gone to school with your grandfather tries to get those digits, give that man a smile and share a joke or two. If he’s one of those gross pervy old men, don’t bother. Ignore him. You can even give him “the look.”
How do you react to street harassment? Do you have any tips or tricks to share with other ladies?
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