When you were younger, you really didn’t think past 21. Now that you’ve crossed that threshold, all this “getting old stuff” is pretty new. Why does a bottle of wine and your couch sound a lot more appealing than a night at the club? Are those laugh lines? Why didn’t that bouncer ask you for your driver’s license?
You have questions. We have answers.
We have here 10 sure signs that you are getting old. Can you relate to any of this?
1. You have to translate texts from your younger relatives.
“wUz Uppppp!?!!?!! Thnx 4 comMinnng 2 my gaaaaAaamEeee!!! Ur welcs 4 da tiX!!” That translates to “What’s up? Thanks for coming to my game. You’re welcome for the tickets.” Poor you. Maybe you should invest in an under-22 translation dictionary.
2. Music from your high school days is now referred to as “old school.”
Yes, your favorite Jodeci, Wu-Tang and SWV songs are now officially on the old school radio stations. * Le sigh *
3. The youngsters in your life de-friend you or block you on Facebook.
You are now a stupid grown up with a stupid job. No longer a cool kid. You just don’t “uNder$tanNd” them!
4. You think you’re about to smash that pizza, but it smashes you.
Back in college you used to inhale pizza like it was air, but now you eat a couple slices and you get the itis. What gives?
5. Your abs seem to be in hiding.
A few sit-ups on the weekend used to have your abs on washboard status. These days, you’re still trying to suck in your stomach to put on your favorite jeans AFTER you do 100 crunches.
6. You find yourself giving rowdy kids “the look.”
Those loud obnoxious groups of teens in the restaurant or movie theater are now intolerable to you. You actually find yourself thinking “Where are their parents?”
7. Instead of taking a disco nap at 9 pm on a Friday, you’re just plain old asleep.
Back in the day when you were a young whipper snapper, Friday night was THE night to party. No school and no thought to doing any homework in the morning. Now? Shoooot, your work week has you so pooped you’re looking forward to Friday just so you can fall asleep whenever and sleep in on Saturday.
8. You have to stop yourself from screaming, “Boy, pull your pants up!”
Like seriously, do these little boys have to have their entire behinds hanging out? Why is this considered attractive? No, really. Please tell us.
9. Your high school classmates look ancient now.
Have you ever re-connected with high school friends on Facebook and been like “Daaaaamn?!” They look so much older than you. How could this person possibly be your peer? Yes, it has happened and it is true. You are that old.
10. You have ever uttered the phrase “You don’t know nothin’ about this.”
Whether it’s a song, a movie, a dance move or whatever, if you have EVA said “You don’t know nothin’ about this,” you are definitely getting old.
BONUS: You realize YOU are the “old” person dancing alone to your “jam” in the club.
You used to clown that old dude in the club who would get out and dance in the middle of the floor by himself when the DJ put on that “jam” from 15 years ago. Now, sadly, you are that person and probably muttering to yourself “You don’t know nothin’ about this” while you two-step to your memories. Gone ‘head grandma/pa.
What have you noticed about yourself that lets you know you’re getting old.
