Close
1 of 11

Co-parenting after a separation or breakup can be achieved with a simple plan in mind – compromise. As much as past betrayals or guilt attributed to your breakup, parenting duties never cease. Shared decisions with your ex are a perfect solution to a happy and fruitful relationship with your children and  raising them in a positive environment. Despite the conflicts that may arise, striving for stability and functionality encourages team work.

Here are tips on how to manage co-parenting:

Tip#1 – Maintain a flexible connection with your children

When the notion of family becomes severed among two parents, the children are fundamentally exposed to living in separate households. This can put a strain on your children once the transition has taken effect, but it is your job to make them feel more at ease until it improves. As a parent, you can still maintain an active presence by making time for them and living within close proximity. It is always a good idea to ensure the separation has not caused a rift between you and your child.

Tip #2 – Plan special outings

When it’s your turn with the children, make it a family affair by going to the amusement park, to the park or out to the ice cream parlor. You can turn a special moment into something fun or active to take their minds off the separation, or make certain that your children’s healthy adjustment is important.

Tip #3 – Respect time allowed between each parent

There is no better resolve than to settle for a time that’s convenient for each parent. Let it be known that your child is apart of you and your ex, so respect the time shared between each person and stick to it. This guarantees the mutual agreement better suits your children.

Tip #4 – Work together to formulate a visitation schedule

This is fairly simple that should be methodical and decisive. Both parents should come up with a visitation schedule that is in line with the children’s schedule. One parent could be in charge of picking the children up from school, helping them with homework and making meals in a timely fashion. The other can choose to be there during bedtime hours.

Tip #5 – Respect the other parent’s household rules and regulations

Just as you may agree parents have their own basic rules and regulations, you should respect how one raises the children in the household. The same rules won’t apply in both houses, but expect that you and your ex will differ on certain disciplinary methods at home. For instance, there could be a different technique on homework, curfew, doing chores, or inviting friends over to the house. Also, make sure certain restrictions factor into your parenting style.

Tip#6 – Share conversations

Both parties should be informed of the child’s well-being. As much as parenting is a full-time job, the focus is maintaining a firm balance at work and home. At times, children have the ability to make parenting even more hectic with schooling, miscellaneous expenses and social lives in the mix. Or every so often, the child may get involved in a heap of trouble that requires the parent’s undivided attention. Conversing over  subjects involving your children makes parenthood more manageable.

Tip#7 – Determine who will make the day-to-day decisions

A great solution to healthy co-parenting is determining who will take on those day-to-day decisions. Even though both parents may have full or joint custody, more responsibilities will be enforced on the single parent. It’s only natural for one to arrange the financial and medical support of the kids, and this includes extracurricular activities, school supplies or doctor’s appointments. If this results in a problem, then have a conversation to come up with a better alternative.

Tip #8 – Sort all conflicts or disagreements away from the children

Disagreements are only natural of two people with differing opinions, but if your the kind of person to settle them behind closed doors, this is an act of conscience your children should see. The best way to handle conflict as an adult, is to ensure that your children aren’t entangled in the heated discussions. Otherwise, keep things low-key so that it doesn’t generate attention or put the kids in the middle of all the commotion.

Tip #9 – Have a heart-to-heart talk about the impending separation or divorce

You’ve tried to repair your relationship, but it’s seemingly hopeless. Sooner or later, the breakup could have an adverse effect on your child. One or both parents should consider a heart to heart talk with them (depending on the age) since they deserve to know the truth. Explain in a kid-friendly context, the reasons you’ve decided to split and how it is not their fault.

Tip#10 – Continue to show your children love and affection

Keep in mind that your children should receive love and affection during a tumultuous time. You should help them feel secure about the separation and adjusting to a new lifestyle. As you continue to work together, this will help regain their perception of love and self-esteem.