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Interpersonal office relationships can get really messy, whether it is an outside-of-the-office friendship or a romantic fling. Working alongside someone you are dating or connected to personally can have many advantages and disadvantages, including the fall out after calling it quits.
How can you keep the working relationship with your colleague while getting rid of the personal one? Here are a few tips on how to end an office relationship professionally and calmly.
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Hash out an amicable working relationship
One of the major drawbacks about ending a personal relationship with a colleague is the possibility of sacrificing the professional one. When you sit down and discuss the split, make sure you leave enough room to talk about ways to keep the professional relationship a positive and productive one.
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Handle the situation outside of the office
There’s no need to have a major blow-out in the office with your former beau. Breaking up in the office is embarrassing for you and them. Not to mention the fact that you’ll be the topic of watercooler talk until the end of time. Handle the situation after work, in-person and avoid the nosy co-workers who are sure to spread it around the office like wildfire.
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Be discreet
Your significant other at the office should not find out about your new dating prospects or your reasons for breaking up with them from another co-worker. Keep the break-up as discreet as possible just as you would during the relationship. And don’t gossip about the situation. This could make matters worse personally and professionally with them and with HR.
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Keep the communication light
Breaking up is always hard to do, whether it’s a long distance relationship or someone you get to see every day at work. Get off to a better foot by keeping the communication light and highlighting the benefits of breaking it off with each other. This could help you both concentrate better in the workplace. Whatever the reasons may be for waving the white flag, communicate this with your colleague and let them know of your intentions are to do what’s best for you both.
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Do not avoid them
Don’t make the situation more awkward than it already is by ducking and dodging them around the office. Besides being immature, avoiding them to bypass the situation is also unprofessional, especially if the two of you have business together. For the sake of your professional reputation, keep communication and interactions normal after calling your friendship quits.
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Be mindful of future personal interactions
Be hesitant in how and when you plan to be around your co-worker after breaking up with them, especially outside of meetings and other group settings. This could spiral into another relationship, and no one needs to break-up and then make-up with their colleague. That’s when it becomes a messy situation for both parties involved. Keep your personal boundaries fixed.
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Break up in person, not over email
Treat the relationship like you would a normal relationship with any other person and sit your colleague down in person to discuss the break-up. Over email, messages can get misinterpreted and awkwardness could get thrown into the mix. Also, emails are traceable in some companies, giving proof of your dirty laundry to others around the workplace.
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Prepare for any aftermath
If your former lover and colleague is a bitter one, you might need to prepare for the backlash of breaking it off. You might get notices from human resources and/or your boss discussing your conduct during office hours. Clean up any trails of personal communication with your colleague like romantic emails and calls on your work phone and prepare for any consequences that might come of it.
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Find the right timing
Timing is everything, especially when breaking off a relationship. If your department or company is in the middle of a major project where you two work together, it might not be the best time to completely split. Remember that work comes first and keeping your professional relationship together matters for the long haul.
