It would be an understatement to say the black community is in shambles and needs to be repaired. At this point, it needs to be rebuilt on a solid foundation rooted in celebratory and functional morals and values. We need a regained sense of self-love, pride and worth. That starts, first, with addressing the consequential myths that have misshapen the “black mentality.”
It is time for much needed self-reflection. It is time to debunk these lies that are destroying our community:
1. Traditional family structure is unnecessary.
Baby mamas and daddies living together or making cordial arrangements to share child custody are commendable but far from ideal. Marriages are where babies should be created, not bogus relationships. People who love each other get married. And, you shouldn’t have a child with someone you don’t love. Family structure with a Mommy and Daddy is very necessary and greatly impacts the outlook and future actions of the child.
2. Speaking proper English is “acting white.”
Why have we adopted broken English as our own? There is nothing to be admired about sounding ignorant. We live in America. So, speak English…properly. It is not cool when people can’t understand you. Plus, it projects the notion of stupidity. Stupid people have trouble being respected.
3. Reciting rap songs is more important than learning the ABCs.
Black children struggle more than other races in school, mostly because they are ill-prepared. Parents (no matter how young) have to shift their focus to their children. When you have a child, it’s not about you anymore. It is about investing in their future. Part of that is education, like reciting the ABCs instead of Drake.
4. Black women are mean and bitter.
Black men placing negative labels on black women have been detrimental to gender relations. If black men don’t love and respect their women, who will? When black men start treating black women like queens, they will start catering to them like kings. The best way to cure a mean and bitter woman is to cure her with kindness.
5. Light-skinned women are prettier.
Colorism amongst black people, especially men, is an outward expression of self-loathing. How can a group dark people not appreciate dark skin? It doesn’t make sense. An overwhelmingly strong preference for lighter skin plays a major role is gender conflicts.
6. Black men ain’t ish.
All black men aren’t bad. Unfortunately, there are just more using their potential to land them in jail than the boardroom. We have to teach and show black boys they have promise beyond the bedroom, streets, entertainment and sports.
7. Counselors and psychologists are for crazy people.
There is no shame in seeking professional help to mend broken relationships and work through mental issues, such as insecurity and low self-esteem. Every individual has a plight and few go through life free from hurt.
8. Black men have big thangs.
Sexual prowess is not a real sign of strength or masculinity. Our community is hyper-sexualized and needs to be more responsible in the area of sexuality. Sexual promiscuity exists in the absence of self-control and respect. When we begin to respect our bodies, black men and women will also gain more respect for one another.
9. Slavery is the reason for our problems.
It’s time to stop blaming slavery and the white man. Yes, we were set up to fail, but we were also given a free will. Our destinies are determined by our actions, regardless of the obstacles placed in front of us. It’s 2010 and time to get over it.
10. “I’m doin’ me.”
Translation: I only care about making it for myself and mine. The result: The crabs in a barrel mentality. Other races come to America and succeed because of solidarity. They help and support one another. Black people have to do the same.
