There’s a time and a place to tear the club up, but one day you’ll walk in a party and suddenly everybody looks young, it’s hot, and your feet hurt. Don’t be sad when you hang up your sky high heels for good. There are lots of reasons to be glad that your clubbing days are over.
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No More “Guessing Game”
The Guessing Game is when a man from last night calls you from the club and you’re trying to guess from his voice whether he’s really as attractive as you thought he was. Everybody looks good at 2am on a Saturday. In the cold light of day, its another story.
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More Money
At a club, a hundred dollars can disappear in a heartbeat. Once you retire those pumps, put that money away in a savings account. In a few weeks you’ll have enough to go on a vacation.
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You Can Retire Your Spandex
That whole section of bandage dresses and micro minis can go. Now there’s room in your closet and your wallet to invest in signature pieces that reflect your personal style.
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Better Parties
Once your clubbing days are over you’re ready to graduate to a better class of party. Industry events and gallery openings have better drinks, open bars, tappas and great conversation that you can actually hear.
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Standing in Line
We’ve all stood shivering in our pumps in rain, sleet, and even snow. Now you can spend the bad weather curled up with a good book or catching up on your favorite show.
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No More Drink Special Crowds
No one misses elbowing their way up to the bar for a watered down rum and coke. Throw a dinner party at your place and it will come out cheaper and you won’t have to worry about drunk college girls stepping on your new pumps.
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No More Sweating Out Your Hair
Dropping it like it’s hot is hard on your knees and even harder on your hair. Once you start spending your Saturday’s sitting down, you can squeeze another week between your Saturday appointments.
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No More Tipping Home
We all know that walk: stooped over, mean mugging and taking little bitty steps. Now you can take those pumps off when you go back to your desk instead of letting your feet swell up all night.
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No More Running For The Exit
We’ve all been to that one club even though we knew it was known for fighting. And your night ended early when you felt the push from the scuffle in the middle of the floor.
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Your Weekends Are Longer
Now that you don’t have to go shopping on Friday, get your hair done all Saturday and sleep Sunday morning your weekend is wide open. You could even pick up a hobby.
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Brunch
When you don’t spend your weekend mornings tired from the night before, you discover brunch. Mimosas, waffles and girl talk are great ways to spend your weekend afternoons. You may even meet a man who likes you before he sees you with your freakum dress on.
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No More Waiting On Your Girl
No one can agree on when it’s a good time to leave for the club. At 11:45 at least one of you is still getting ready. Now you have to squeeze all of Saturday night’s dancing into an hour and 15 minutes.
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No More Hiding the Stamp at Church
You go to shake someone’s hand and they notice that last night’s door stamp didn’t wash off all the way. Now you have to hide your right hand or else you’ll get the hypocritical side eye from everyone who remembered to spend a little extra time scrubbing there’s off.
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No More Bouncers
Not getting carded at the liquor store makes you feel like an adult. Not getting carded at the club just makes you feel old.
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No More Drink Stalker
You know the dude. He insisted that you let him buy you that drink. And now he thinks ya’ll go together. “Thank you I’m going to go dance with my girls now,” means “goodbye” not stand outside the bathroom waiting for you to come out.
