There are only a few celebrity couples that have seeped through the cracks of Black Hollywood. Their relationships have withstood rumors, obsessive fans, and other issues that plague our relationships; still they’ve admitted there has been a combination of both good and bad times; and reiterated that relationships require work.
While some couples have been quite vocal about the lessons they’ve learned, others have been somewhat mum about their relationship; but still we can take lessons from many of black Hollywood’s leading couples.
Jay Z and Beyonce: Keep Everyone Out of Your Relationship
The couple who wed privately in 2008, are usually mum about their seemingly happy romance. Although, they’ve recently become more open, Beyonce and Jay Z have done what most Hollywood couples haven’t done: kept their relationship fairly private.
Lesson Learned: Keep others out of your relationship, even those family members whose intentions are well. It’s okay to solicit advice at times, but allowing others to know all the intricate details of your relationship isn’t always the best things. Especially because your family and friends remember the negative, long after you’ve forgotten.
Will and Jada Pinkett-Smith: Keep Your Relationship Spicy
Jada Pinkett and Will Smith seem like a match made in heaven. They’ve grown together, have a beautiful family, and seem to be just as in love as the first day they met. In an interview earlier this year, Oprah asked one of Hollywood’s long lasting couples their secret for keeping their love fresh and exciting. Jada answered:
“I just, I always surprise him. Now I don’t know if you want to get in on how I surprise him, [but] during the day I might send a Hot picture of some sort. Just a reminder of what’s at home.
“And if he’s on set with me, we might take a break …”
Lesson Learned: Keep your relationship spontaneous. Don’t have such a strict, boring routine. Send pictures, take breaks, and surprise your significant others with things he would never expect. The key is to keep it fun and fresh, even if you’ve been in a relationship for years.
Duane Martin & Tisha Campbell-Martin: Being Friends Is The Most Important Component in Making A Relationship Last
Their story begins in 1990 when the pair met at an audition for the TV pilot “Moe’s World.” The show never took off, but the relationship between the two of them did. Although they’ve been subject to some of Hollywood’s vicious rumors, this couple has proven that black love, even in Hollywood, can last as long as there is a solid friendship.
“I didn’t ask her to marry me,” Duane Martin has been quoted saying, “I didn’t ask her to be my wife. I asked her if she would be my best friend forever, because that’s what’s important to me.
Lesson Learned: If you approach your relationship like friends and you keep that, then you’ll always be friends at minimum; and in most relationships, friendships usually last longer than just an intimate connection.
Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey: Celebrate Your Love
The couple surprised many since sticking out their relationship and even renewing their vows each wedding anniversary. Quite the opposite of Jay-Z and Beyonce, Nick and Mariah are usually vocal in their love for each other.
When asked by PEOPLE, why they’ve renewed their vows so frequently, Nick replied: “I encourage everybody to do it. If you are happy and in love, celebrate it!”
Lesson Learned: Celebrate the fact that you are in love and making it work. While renewing your vows every year may be a bit much, celebrating your anniversaries with even more memorable events is just as important. Remembering the first time you kissed, went on a date, or did ‘other’ things calls for a celebration as well.
Shannon Brown and Monica: Love Has No Age Limit (Within Reason)
While reenacting scenes from ‘How Stella Got Her Groove Back’ may not be your things, don’t shun away love because of age, if it’s within reason.
We’ve heard singer, Monica sing about love for quite some time, now we’re seeing the 30 year old singer experience love with Los Angeles Lakers baller, Shannon Brown who happens to be 5 years her junior.
Lesson Learned: If being considered a cougar comes with the perk of finding true love, it’s definitely worth it. Don’t disqualify someone because they may be slightly older or younger than you would normally prefer.
Ruby Dee and Ossie Davis: Grow Together
Although Ossie Davis died in 2005, his marriage to his partner Ruby Dee lives on. The Hollywood couple, who even wrote a book on relationships, proved that relationships in Hollywood can last forever. So what was their secret? They grew together.
Besides their acting, the pair became spokespersons and activists for the civil rights movement, often participating in marches (The 1963 March on Washington, to cite just one) and other rallies with the likes of Martin Luther King and Malcolm X, as well as fellow celebrities Marlon Brando, Burt Lancaster, and Sidney Poitier. They learned, worked, and grew together.
Lesson Learned: Always keep in mind that people grow and change; allow your relationship to do the same.
Denzel and Pauletta Washington: Learn to Trust
She may have one of Hollywood’s most sought after men, but Pauletta Washington doesn’t appear insecure or jealous. Even amidst infidelity rumors of Denzel and a certain movie co-star, Pauletta didn’t appear phased.
In an interview with Oprah, Pauletta was asked if she was at times jealous of Denzel’s fans.
She replied: No, because, you know why? He’s coming home.”
Lesson Learned: Trust is vital in any relationship. Without it, a relationship simply won’t last; and if it does, it will be accompanied by tons of misery. If he’s coming home and not giving you a reason to not trust, don’t allow insecurities to ruin your relationship.
Kendu Isaacs and Mary J. Blige: Accept That You Will Make Mistakes
Since her debut in the ’90s, Mary J. Blige has been anything but dishonest about her life and insecurities. Even after marrying Kendu Isaacs, Mary has admitted that she isn’t perfect and is still learning how to be a better wife.
Lesson Learned: Don’t assume that you have to be ‘perfect’ to be in a relationship. While it’s best to have yourself together mentally, each relationship will be different and you will learn as you grow. Allow yourself room to make mistakes.
