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I am not an expert on the topic of dating bisexual women, but I have dated at least two bisexual woman before so that experience makes me about 200% more qualified to speak on this subject than some of you. Of the two, the woman I dated for the longest period (two years) had dated several women before me, and she probably dated a few women after me. Honestly, she dated a few women while we were together. I think I know all of them, but I won’t pretend like I know or care for sure. I was far less concerned about her sleeping with other women than men anyway. I bring this up because there are a lot of women who claim they are “team bisexual,” because they think it’s trendy, when in reality they’re about as likely to seriously date another woman as they are to seriously date a billy goat gruff.
For the sake of today’s post, I think we need to clarify the different types of bisexual women that exist. You see, back in the day it was simple. If a girl kissed a girl and she liked it, she legitimately liked women or was at least experimenting to discover herself. Today, women make out with other women to increase their likes on Instagram. These are truly confusing times. In my opinion, there are approximately three types of bisexual women.
- Lesbian Women. These women are attracted to other women, period. However, like any other young person, they might experiment with men just to see what all the hype is about. If you’ve ever met a lesbian with a child she conceived from a relationship with a man, then you might know what I’m talking about.
- Bi-curious Women. These women are prone to make out with a friend after a few drinks, to just have fun, or to make their lives look more adventurous on fake-life sites like Instagram/Facebook/Twitter than they would ever be in real life. These types of women are usually “team bisexual” in that they’re only attracted to women as a matter of convenience, but you’ll rarely find them willing to go much further than second base.
- Bisexual Women. Last but not least are the truly bisexual; women who are as equally attracted to women as they are to men. Truly bisexual women are as open to dating a woman as they are a man, and they don’t need the excuse of alcohol to justify being attracted to someone of the same sex.
Despite all the rap songs, adult films and rumors to the contrary, seriously dating a bisexual woman is really not that different than dating a heterosexual woman. When I tell people I dated a bisexual woman, they (men and women) often wonder why I would ever stop. I look at it like this: I can’t lie, it was fun, but so is a roller coaster and I don’t ride those every day. Sometimes the stability of a “normal” relationship is underrated.
My life is no richer or poorer having dated a woman who was willing to sleep with men or women, sometimes together. Since I was much younger at the time, I won’t pretend like the thrill of having the option of sleeping with two women occasionally wasn’t appealing. However, life wasn’t all threesomes and Playboy Mansion parties. For the most part, it was a run of the mill relationship. We had our ups and downs like everyone else trying to navigate the world of a committed relationship.
Another kink in the real life versus fantasy life was the fact that you’re not guaranteed to have the same taste in women. As it turns out, this happened a lot with my Ex and I. She wasn’t physically attracted to women I liked and I wasn’t (always) physically attracted to women she liked (I also wasn’t nearly as picky as her). Further, there was no guarantee that the women she or I liked would also like us both. Like most things when it comes to relationships, it was all a game of chance.
In the end, most men don’t have a desire to seriously date a bisexual woman or sleep with two women at the same damn time. That seems to be one of those fantasies that because a minority of men talk about it all the time, everyone assumes all men want to do it. Some fantasies are fantasies for a reason. In reality, I only know a handful of men who actively seek bisexual women or threesomes or who care if they do or do not ever have one. This is different than passing up the opportunity in the rare instance that it organically presents itself. Men like peace, and a night of fun can easily lead to a lifetime of complications if all parties involved don’t walk away from the experience equally pleased. Beyond the sexual benefits – if they can be called that – dating a bisexual woman can easily be thought of as twice the headache. Most men struggle to keep one woman happy, trying to please two or more within the confines of a relationship is not a fantasy in their minds, it’s a nightmare.
Fellas, help me out…have you ever seriously dated a bisexual woman? Was the reality as good as the fantasy? Would you do it again?
WisdomIsMisery aka WIM uses his background as an internal auditor to provide objective, yet opinionated, qualitative and quantitative analysis on life, love, and everything in between. WIM is not a model, a model citizen, or a role model. See more of WIM on his weekly write-ups for SBM, on Twitter @WisdomIsMisery, and Instagram: WisdomIsMisery.
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