Could You Be His Side Piece? 9 Signs You May Be Dating a Married Man

One thing I’ve noticed since I got engaged is how many men still try to hit on me – even with my ring blinging in their face. At first I found it surprising and even insulting. But then I realized that these men either enjoy a challenge, simply don’t care about marriage or may not even see my ring.  I’ve heard from my married male friends that women didn’t seem to care that they were wearing a wedding band either. It could be that some men and women are just attracted to people who are committed to others; either way, the responsibility ultimately lies with the married person.

But what if you run into a married man who isn’t interested in “behaving,” yet you’re the type of woman who respects the sanctity of marriage and avoids married men like the plague? If he has no ring on his finger, then you may think he’s fair game, so no worries right? Wrong. While a wedding band may or may not be an obvious sign that a man is married, there are other things you should look out for that may indicate that he is betrothed to someone else. Want to make sure that you aren’t unknowingly the other woman? Here are some signs that you might be dating a married man.

1. Tan Lines on His Ring Finger

Just because you don’t see an actual ring on his finger doesn’t mean he doesn’t have one. I don’t know too many married men who flaunt their titanium band if they’re looking to cheat. However, that doesn’t mean there isn’t any evidence that a ring exists. Check out his ring finger thoroughly, especially if it’s summer time. If he wears a ring but just not around you, chances are there’s a noticeable tan line. Now, there are some married men who never wear a ring (in this case, you’ll have to do some further investigating), but his ring finger is a good place to start.

2. He Has Two Cell Phones

Unless you’re dating a corporate guy who has a work phone and a personal cell, a man who has two cell phones but only gives you one number might be a dead giveaway. I don’t know too many people who would willingly pay for two separate accounts unless he was using one for private reasons…that don’t include you. You see, his “real” phone is for his family and friends while his other phones are for people like you – the side pieces. If you ask for both numbers and he tells you he can’t give it to you because it’s his work phone or because he doesn’t use it, raise an eyebrow…and possible raise up out of that relationship.

3. He Has a Home Phone Number – But You Don’t Have It

Not too many people have land lines nowadays even though they tend to come bundled up in a TV/Internet package. When asked, he may tell you that he doesn’t have a home phone number and there’s really nothing outside of a thorough internet search or background check you can do to see if he’s telling the truth. However, if he admits to having a home number but says you don’t need it because he doesn’t use it, be suspicious. No married man is going to have his mistress calling his home for obvious reasons, so if you continually ask for his home number and he doesn’t give it to you, then something is up.

4. You’ve Never Been to His Home

If you’re always meeting your new guy at outside venues or he’s always visiting you at your place, but you’ve never been to his home…RUN! He may claim to live in the hood and doesn’t want to bring you there or that he has six roommates…whatever. There should be no reason to be steady dating a guy after say, a month or two, and you have no idea where he lives. Next time you’re out, suggest going back to his place for some “fun.” Not too many men will turn down that offer. But if the “fun” always takes place at your house, that means there is something at HIS house he doesn’t want you to see. Now, he could just think you’re crazy and only considers you a jump-off and simply doesn’t want you to stalk him. But more than likely, if you’ve never been to his crib, he’s committed to someone else and you’re a side piece.

5. He Can’t Speak to You “After Hours”

Do you find that you only speak to him during the day, but he goes MIA at 6PM? That’s because he’s home with his wife and kids and can’t be disturbed. If he tells you not to call him after a certain time, beware. He may tell you has two jobs and his night time job doesn’t allow him to make phone calls or send text messages but if this spills over into the weekends, he’s probably the hardest working man on the planet.  If that’s the case, he doesn’t have time for you anyway so you should just move on.

6. He Calls You From Odd Places

Whenever you talk to this guy, he’s running errands, walking the dog, at the gym or sitting in a parking lot – never from home. That’s probably because he dipped out from his wife so he could make a phone call to you. These calls probably never last more than between 15-20 minutes, or however long it takes him to do what he’s doing so he can get back home to his wife. Next time he calls, try telling him that you’re a little tied up right now but to call you when he gets home. If the call doesn’t come or he makes up some excuse, there’s probably a chance he has a wife at home and you won’t hear from him again until he finds another excuse to escape.

7. He Pay For Everything in Cash

If he’s cheating and he’s smart – if there is such a thing – he won’t leave any traces behind of his infidelities, including credit card receipts to restaurants or department stores. It may not seem odd that a man pays for dinner or drinks in cash, but if he pays for hotels in cash, then ole boy is DEFINITELY not trying to get caught and is covering his tracks.

8. He Takes You to Secluded Places

Speaking of hotels, if he is always taking you to motels tucked away somewhere (since you never have sex at his house) or you find that you’re always meeting at some nice, intimate, dark restaurant on the other side of town, then he’s probably doing that because he can’t be seen with you. He won’t take you to the restaurant that he and his wife frequent or where her girls can run into him…that’d be really dumb. He wants to keep you as his dirty little secret, so the more secluded the hideout spot, the better.

9. He Doesn’t Introduce You to Anyone

If you’ve been seeing a guy for weeks, even months, then you should have met at least ONE of his friends by now. But if he barely even talks about his friends, let alone introduces them to you, something is up. Now, if you’ve established that you two are just cut buddies and are not mixing company, so be it. But if you think you’re dating a man with the hopes that it may go somewhere and you haven’t met one friend, co-worker or play cousin, then he’s not introducing you on purpose. There are only two possible reasons for this: (1) he’s just not that into you or (2) he can’t introduce you because he will have a hard time explaining who his “new friend” is to people who know his wife. Either way, you’re wasting your time.