Would You Buy a Book of Short Stories by Erykah Badu?

Erykah Badu
“Crocheted Pants and Other Love Spells”

Ms. Badu is known for going deep with her lyrics, but in addition to the “What she say?” head-scratchers, she is also a great storyteller. Couldn’t you just see Tyrone’s punk behind when she was telling us about him?  She has just the right quirky energy and writing ability to pull off  a book full of short stories.  It’d be a mix of J. California Cooper’s magical moments, Sister Souljah’s urban landscapes and Octavia Butler’s other-worldliness.

Lil Wayne
“Starship NOLA”

Lil Wayne frequently talks about feeling like an alien and looking at things in a very different way than other people.  He should capitalize on those outer galaxy feelings and write a sci-fi novel about an alien living in New Orleans who’s source of power is in his ever present red cup.

Nicki Minaj/ Lil Kim
“What’s Beef?”

In this book, Nicki Minaj and Lil Kim would both dissect some of the great rap battles from years past.  They would highlight their favorite parts and explain why some verses/songs  fall short.  Why pick Nicki Minaj and Lil Kim to do this as a collaboration? Obviously, they are in the midst of the rap “battle” of the moment, but they are also both very interesting figures in hip hop. Nicki Minaj is one smart young lady (don’t let the goofy faces/voices fool you) and Lil Kim knows more than a little bit about the industry.

Questlove
“Just Me and My Pick”

Questlove has a HILARIOUS and thoroughly engaging blog about his various celebrity encounters over the years. He needs to stretch these stories out and put a book together, like yesterday.  Questlove is very knowledgeable about music (not just hip hop) and is witty, charming and intelligent enough to make an awesome book that people of all ages and musical interests could enjoy. Come on, Questo!

Oprah
“The Billionaire Friend In Your Head”

That unauthorized biography of Oprah caused a bit of a stir recently, but Oprah needs to put out her story in her own words. She’s shared a lot about herself over the years with her adoring fans, but there are still some intriguing unanswered questions. Even though the “Color Purple” was a huge hit, is there any part of her that was a tad offended that Quincy Jones saw her on television one night and said “That’s Sophia!”?  Will she ever make an honest man out of Stedman? When’s the last time she made a new friend? It must be difficult to determine who to trust once you get like a bajillion dollars.

Lauryn Hill
“Everything is Everything”

L Boogie should write a straight up memoir. She put a classic solo album in the late ’90s that won a ton of Grammys  and then basically fell off the map until she resurfaced with a two-disc MTV “Unplugged” album that is an acquired taste to say the least (I happen to like a few joints on there). What the heck, happened? Please enlighten us, Ms. Hill. We really do want to know.

Beyonce
“Diva, Fierce, Shiny Pantyhose”

The title would just be Beyonce buzz words and the content of the book would be all of her hit songs (similar to “Decoded”), a dash of context about how the songs came to be and a little Beyonce-ness. What chu know about a sequined book page?  Beyonce hasn’t put out an album of entirely new material in about two years, but she’s still the hardest working woman in entertainment, so she doesn’t have time to write a friggin’ book.

Halle Berry
“How to Stay a Banger at Any Age”
(Foreword by Iman and Salli Richardson)

Self explanatory. This how-to book would fly off the shelves.

Kanye West
“The Best Tweeter of All Time”

West found some success with his book of Kanye-isms called “Thank You and You’re Welcome.” Since then, he’s become a prolific tweeter. Some days he has these somewhat profound streams of consciousness and other days he will go on long rants about nothing in particular. Interesting stuff either way.  Toss in some actual critical thinking essays (You can do it, Ye!) and you have  a unique look into the mind of a modern day musical mastermind.

Corinne Bailey Rae and Esperanza Spalding
“Big Hair, Don’t Care”
Corrine Bailey Rae and Esperanza Spalding are both very talented young women (Google them if you don’t what’s what), but they also both have fabulous hair! Look at those curls.  This book would be  all about hair care and showing women how to embrace their hair as it grows out of their heads.