If your husband cheated on you, would you take him back? Or, would you kick him to the curb with the force and accuracy of a NFL placekicker?
It is relatively safe to state that adultery has become a commonplace component of our society even though cheating should not be the norm. To be sure, forgiveness of such transgressions is essential to overcoming the spiritual and emotional hurt and pain. But, how many times should you forgive?
Although the following list is not all-inclusive, it does represent some of the reasons why certain wives willingly take their cheating spouses back:
1. The need to feel loved and wanted. Oftentimes, wives may take their cheating spouses back because they have a need to feel loved and wanted. Some commentators would attribute this “necessity” to low self-esteem. Notwithstanding, should this need allow one’s spouse to continually cheat on them?
2. Finances. In certain situations, there are some wives who may feel that they cannot make it financially without their husbands. Hence, despite his adulterous acts, they feel like they need to stay with him or else deal with a life of financial depravity. In many cases, this may not prove to be true; still, the anxiety persists.
3. Great sex. In some cases, wives take their cheating spouses back because of great sex. Although he may be a “beast” in the bedroom and the loving may be great, it is not beneficial to be with a husband who has a couple girlfriends and a wife on the side. And, is he worth all of the pain and suffering?
4. The children. Certainly, marriage becomes more complex with the addition of children. Some mothers do not want their children to be without a father in the household, so they accept the adulterous acts. But, in the cases where children actually know about the cheating, the presence of the unfaithful husband and father may prove difficult for them.
5. Fear. Sometimes, wives fear the thought of being a “left behind.” Especially in the case where the spouses have a long history, it is very difficult for some wives to envision a life without the presence of their husband. Thus, they would rather stay in the marriage with their cheating spouses in lieu of being alone or with someone else.
6. Belief that he will change. Positive thinking is certainly a necessity for a healthy marriage. In some cases, wives believe that their spouses will change sooner or later. This may prove to be true over time. But, the primacy of change must reside with the husband- simply, he has to repent of his ways and desire change to be a better husband.
7. Physical abuse. It is certainly tragic when wives are in abusive marriages. In certain instances, there may be situations where wives are dealing with an abusive and cheating husband who may threaten them upon discussions of leaving or divorce. It is imperative to seek help from trusted friends, family and law enforcement under these difficult circumstances.
8. Hate to admit that her marriage failed. Oftentimes, some wives may feel like a failure if their marriage does not work. They may believe that family members, friends and people in their community may also view them in a negative manner. Certainly, divorce predicated on an adulterous husband is nothing to be ashamed of.
