The Art Of Breaking Up: How To Dump Him With Dignity
Share the post
Share this link via
Or copy link
I’m certainly no expert in the art of break-ups. I’ve had to do it a couple of times and it was not fun. I’ve had it done to me before and it wasn’t fun then either. If the breakup comes about as a result of some indiscretion — cheating, lying, he was married or had six baby mamas in hiding, etc. — then no, there is no need for a “nice” break-up. But when you want to end things on good terms, is there really a “nice” way to do it?
The answer is yes.
Some people chicken out and try to act like a jerk so that the other person breaks up with them first. Or they play some kind of game instead of being upfront so they won’t appear to be the bad guy. But while the thought of hurting someone can be daunting, if you respect the other person, you should do what’s right and let them go for their own sake. The key is to do it amicably and maturely. There is an art to dumping someone with dignity and these nine guidelines are here to help you through the messy business of ending a relationship (the correct way).
- Love Or Liability? How Romantic Relationships Really Impact Your Wallet
- Mompreneurs Featuring Tookie| S4Ep1
- 10 Black Hairstylists Whose Heavenly Hands Keep Celebrity Locks Laid To The Gawd’s
- Terrence Howard Bashed For Rejecting Marvin Gaye Biopic Over Gay Kiss Scene
- Boop, There It Is! Tony Nominee Jasmine Amy Rogers Is Making History As Broadway’s First Black Betty Boop — And She’s Just Getting Started [Exclusive]
1. Make Up Your Mind
So many women announce that they’re finally getting rid of their man once and for all, only to confess to reconciling several days later. By this time, all your girls have heard about the man’s funky underarms, wack sex, creepy mama’s boy relationship with his mother and other intimate, personal details we’d really rather not know about at all. In some cases this sort of flip-flopping takes place repeatedly, for months or even years on end. Spare your friends (and yourself the embarrassment) and don’t announce that your relationship is over until you’re absolutely sure that it’s over.
- Love Or Liability? How Romantic Relationships Really Impact Your Wallet
- Mompreneurs Featuring Tookie| S4Ep1
- 10 Black Hairstylists Whose Heavenly Hands Keep Celebrity Locks Laid To The Gawd’s
- Terrence Howard Bashed For Rejecting Marvin Gaye Biopic Over Gay Kiss Scene
- Boop, There It Is! Tony Nominee Jasmine Amy Rogers Is Making History As Broadway’s First Black Betty Boop — And She’s Just Getting Started [Exclusive]
2. Don’t Hide
Sometimes women simply stop returning a man’s calls, figuring that he’ll get the hint and leave her alone. But it’s a cowardly act to avoid phone calls. You should be able to speak to someone you dated, and possibly slept with, and be honest about what’s going on. So put on your big girl panties, take his call and end it like a woman. Besides, ignoring the incessant ring of the phone can be more nerve-wracking and bothersome than just answering it and explaining to the guy that it’s over. And, ultimately, it is just plain rude to flake out on the other person. Be a grownup.
- Love Or Liability? How Romantic Relationships Really Impact Your Wallet
- Mompreneurs Featuring Tookie| S4Ep1
- 10 Black Hairstylists Whose Heavenly Hands Keep Celebrity Locks Laid To The Gawd’s
- Terrence Howard Bashed For Rejecting Marvin Gaye Biopic Over Gay Kiss Scene
- Boop, There It Is! Tony Nominee Jasmine Amy Rogers Is Making History As Broadway’s First Black Betty Boop — And She’s Just Getting Started [Exclusive]
3. Be Straight Up
Some people prefer using vague lines like, “I need some space,” or “It’s me, not you” when ending a relationship. You might think that drawing the break out over time without being specific is a more gentle way of letting your guy down, but that could actually make things worse. Instead, you could be creating a more unpleasant and painful situation and he’ll just end up confused. Don’t give him hope. Be blunt and it’ll be like ripping off a band-aid. It’ll hurt really bad for a hot second, but the pain will eventually go away.
- Love Or Liability? How Romantic Relationships Really Impact Your Wallet
- Mompreneurs Featuring Tookie| S4Ep1
- 10 Black Hairstylists Whose Heavenly Hands Keep Celebrity Locks Laid To The Gawd’s
- Terrence Howard Bashed For Rejecting Marvin Gaye Biopic Over Gay Kiss Scene
- Boop, There It Is! Tony Nominee Jasmine Amy Rogers Is Making History As Broadway’s First Black Betty Boop — And She’s Just Getting Started [Exclusive]
4. Don’t Be a Coward
Don’t try to force a guy to break up with you by acting like a beyotch or being unreasonably difficult to get along with. Many women who are unhappy in their relationships start inventing absurd reasons to argue and complain about everything under the sun in an effort to push their boyfriend away. They may think this tactic lets them off the hook, but actually, it’s cowardly. Sure, it may work and he may dump you, but it also creates bad vibes between you and you just look like a jerk. Take responsibility for your dissatisfaction. This goes for men too…don’t be an A$$ just to make her break up with you, unless the thought of being perceived as a punk doesn’t bother you.
- Love Or Liability? How Romantic Relationships Really Impact Your Wallet
- Mompreneurs Featuring Tookie| S4Ep1
- 10 Black Hairstylists Whose Heavenly Hands Keep Celebrity Locks Laid To The Gawd’s
- Terrence Howard Bashed For Rejecting Marvin Gaye Biopic Over Gay Kiss Scene
- Boop, There It Is! Tony Nominee Jasmine Amy Rogers Is Making History As Broadway’s First Black Betty Boop — And She’s Just Getting Started [Exclusive]
5. Location, Location, Location
As far as location goes, restaurants and other public places are tricky because there’s a slim chance he’ll shout or, worse, cry — both of which will be highly embarrassing. But be sure not to breakup with your man in a place that is sentimental to both of you. Also, make sure to look your worst. No makeup, your hair is pulled back and you’re in sweats – and be sure to wear that perfume he hates. This will make it easier for him to take.
- Love Or Liability? How Romantic Relationships Really Impact Your Wallet
- Mompreneurs Featuring Tookie| S4Ep1
- 10 Black Hairstylists Whose Heavenly Hands Keep Celebrity Locks Laid To The Gawd’s
- Terrence Howard Bashed For Rejecting Marvin Gaye Biopic Over Gay Kiss Scene
- Boop, There It Is! Tony Nominee Jasmine Amy Rogers Is Making History As Broadway’s First Black Betty Boop — And She’s Just Getting Started [Exclusive]
6. Cry
Okay, I know this goes against the “rules” and it’s not fair, but if you simply can’t break up with him in a straight up way, or you feel the breakup isn’t going as well as you wanted, then you must pull out this bag of tricks and get a little misty eyed. As you tell him that, as wonderful as he is, it simply isn’t working, try to muster up a few tears. This will keep you from looking like the witch that he thinks you are for breaking his little heart, and his ego will need all the help it can get. Of course this only applies if you truly care about his feelings. If you don’t, then no tears are necessary.
- Love Or Liability? How Romantic Relationships Really Impact Your Wallet
- Mompreneurs Featuring Tookie| S4Ep1
- 10 Black Hairstylists Whose Heavenly Hands Keep Celebrity Locks Laid To The Gawd’s
- Terrence Howard Bashed For Rejecting Marvin Gaye Biopic Over Gay Kiss Scene
- Boop, There It Is! Tony Nominee Jasmine Amy Rogers Is Making History As Broadway’s First Black Betty Boop — And She’s Just Getting Started [Exclusive]
7. Offer a Reason For the Breakup
Okay, so you may not want to give him the real reason for dumping him — the sex was wack, his snoring, his annoying lisp, his stupid friends — but you do need to offer a reason that’s plausible. If all else fails, flip it and tell him that it’s clear he’s not happy, and you want him to be with someone who will make him happy because he’s a good dude and deserves it. And what man can argue with that? Sure, it might confuse him since he probably thought he was happy until you dropped this little bombshell on him, but that’s for him to figure out. At then end of the day, that’s something he can tell himself to help him sleep at night, and a way to justify the breakup in his own mind.
- Love Or Liability? How Romantic Relationships Really Impact Your Wallet
- Mompreneurs Featuring Tookie| S4Ep1
- 10 Black Hairstylists Whose Heavenly Hands Keep Celebrity Locks Laid To The Gawd’s
- Terrence Howard Bashed For Rejecting Marvin Gaye Biopic Over Gay Kiss Scene
- Boop, There It Is! Tony Nominee Jasmine Amy Rogers Is Making History As Broadway’s First Black Betty Boop — And She’s Just Getting Started [Exclusive]
8. If You Lie, Make it Believable
‘”This hurts me more than it hurts you,” is a terrible line — mainly because it’s usually not true. “It’s not you, it’s me,” is a little more believable because no one want to feel like they’re inadequate or the cause of your dissatisfaction. Try to follow that statement with a few compliments detailing how great he is, and then go on to say you’re not the settling down type and that he’s just too good for you. If he’s a glutton for punishment or thinks he can change you, this may not work. But if he believes you, he’ll be convinced that he can do better.
- Love Or Liability? How Romantic Relationships Really Impact Your Wallet
- Mompreneurs Featuring Tookie| S4Ep1
- 10 Black Hairstylists Whose Heavenly Hands Keep Celebrity Locks Laid To The Gawd’s
- Terrence Howard Bashed For Rejecting Marvin Gaye Biopic Over Gay Kiss Scene
- Boop, There It Is! Tony Nominee Jasmine Amy Rogers Is Making History As Broadway’s First Black Betty Boop — And She’s Just Getting Started [Exclusive]
9. No Breakup Sex
That last roll in the sack “for old time’s sake” might seem pretty tempting, but don’t give in: it will only confuse him…and probably you too. He might even try to convince you to sleep with him again with the intention of tricking you into staying since he knows he’s got that good stroke — which is probably what kept you in the relationship longer than you should have anyway. The next thing you know, it’ll be morning, he’s making you breakfast and you’ve changed your mind…until the next time he gets on your nerves and you’re back to square one trying to figure out how to dump him again. Don’t do it…you’ll just prolong the inevitable and it’ll get messier and messier. No double-backs.
- Love Or Liability? How Romantic Relationships Really Impact Your Wallet
- Mompreneurs Featuring Tookie| S4Ep1
- 10 Black Hairstylists Whose Heavenly Hands Keep Celebrity Locks Laid To The Gawd’s
- Terrence Howard Bashed For Rejecting Marvin Gaye Biopic Over Gay Kiss Scene
- Boop, There It Is! Tony Nominee Jasmine Amy Rogers Is Making History As Broadway’s First Black Betty Boop — And She’s Just Getting Started [Exclusive]
