Are you the woman that he wants to settle down with and ultimately enter into a blissful one-flesh union in the near future? Or, are you just a booty call? For myriad women, the contemplation of these particular questions does not occur, because they have been blessed with the presence of committed, disciplined, trustworthy and loving men. Unfortunately, for a plethora of women, the above-mentioned questions are actually substantive. Some commentators would make the unsubstantiated generalization that women are not so naïve that they cannot discern whether they are really a prospective spouse or a booty call to their mates. Over and over, though, tangible evidence shows that the hearts of many women are broken, because they thought that they were really in a committed relationship. To be sure, there are women who purposely want to be a booty call and engage in a sexual relationship with a man with no attachment. However, if this is not the case, it is imperative to recognize certain indications that a man may not be interested in you beyond sexual intercourse. The following list is not all-inclusive but does represent some of the signs to look for in order to avoid heartbreak:
1. The only emotion he shows is in the bedroom. Relationships are built upon trust, love, faith and positive communication and emotions. Common stereotypical information would lead many to believe that all men are aloof and indifferent. This is certainly not the truth. However, if you recognize that your man continually shows a lack of emotion and detached behavior, except in the bedroom, he is probably not interested in you beyond sexual intercourse.
2. The conversation always ends between the sheets. As previously stated, positive and empowering communication is absolutely essential for the sustenance of a fruitful and healthy relationship. This type of communication should cover a full gamut of topics and involve active listening. The conversation should not be strictly and consistently confined to sex.
3. You only know him by his nickname. In some cases, men of all races are primarily known by their nicknames. In rare instances, people in their communities may not actually know their real names. But, if a man is serious about you, he should divulge his birth name to you during one of many fruitful discussions and be fine with you calling him by that respective name.
4. You know his mother as the pretty lady hanging on the wall in his bedroom. Over a period of time, a man who is excited and hopeful about his relationship will introduce his prospective spouse to his parents. This is a relatively universal sign that he is committed to you. If you only know his mother as the pretty lady hanging on the wall in his bedroom, then something is wrong.
5. The only friend you know is his dog. Similar to meeting the parents, a man who is typically excited and hopeful about his relationship with you will take you meet his true friends. To be sure, there may be some instances where his friends may be located at a distance that precludes frequent visits. But, eventually, they will meet up with each other. If the only friend you know is his dog, then it is not a good sign.
6. You only know the four walls of his bedroom. Myriad studies and common knowledge continue to indicate that men who are serious about long-term relationships will take their prospective spouse out in public. Whether it’s a date to the movies, a wonderful dinner at a nice restaurant, a visit to his church or a stroll around the neighborhood, your man should be happy to be with you in public places. If you only know the four walls of his bedroom, he is likely not interested in a long-term relationship.
7. The only gift that you receive is a pack of condoms. To be sure, expensive gifts such as a diamond necklace from Tiffany & Co. or lavish clothes are not necessities. But, frequent gifts especially on your birthday and holidays should be the normative in an intimate and healthy relationship. If the only gift that you continually receive or have received is a pack of condoms, you should definitely know that he is only interested in having sex with you.
8. The only thing that you have in common is knowing which position works best. One of the beautiful components of relationships is the varied background and interests of both partners. Despite these differences, healthy relationships grow and become stronger as the couples discover commonalities which they can discuss and sometimes participate in together. If the only thing that you and your man have in common is agreement on which sexual position works best, then it is definitely a tangible sign that something is wrong.
