That man is at it again. Seems like he has no act-right in him and this time, it’s really done or maybe you did the messing up or maybe the reasons aren’t so cut and dry and there’s enough blame to spread to both parties. Whatever happened, we’ve all been there. Break-ups are awful, tortuous painful events. Luckily, we have music to get us through the different stages of emotions that a break-up dumps on us (pun intended). Old school legends, new school entertainers and some of those great artists from the 90’s we never heard from again are all here to help us. We present to you the Ultimate Break-Up Playlist.
Stage 1: Utter And Complete Sadness
After your girls have been trying to call you 10 times in a row with no answer and they finally just show up at your door, this is typically the stage you are in when they get to you. This is that initial sledge-hammer to the chest when you feel physically exhausted from grief. Don’t deny yourself sadness. It’s normal to feel that way.
Kiss me once again
Don’cha never, never say that we’re through
Cause I ain’t never
Never, Never, no, no (loved a man)
(The way that I, I love you)
~”I Never Loved A Man,” Aretha Franklin~
1. “I Never Loved A Man”- Aretha Franklin
2. “Giving Up”-Donny Hathaway
3. “Cause I Love You”- Lenny Williams
4. “I Never Dreamed You Would Leave In Summer”- Stevie Wonder
5. “Some Type of Way” (Interlude)- Marsha Ambrosius
Stage 2: Reminiscing And Thinking About Fixing Things
After that first big tsunami of sadness subsides, you are still left with some pretty raw emotions. Regardless of who did what or how good or bad the relationship was, you will often find yourself reminiscing on the good times, wondering if you could have done anything differently to salvage things and kinda hoping that he’s going through the same emotional torture.
Do I ever cross your mind, anytime
Do you ever wake up reaching out for me
Do I ever cross your mind anytime
I miss you
~”Anytime,” Brian McKnight~
6. “Anytime”- Brian McKnight
7. “The Whole Town’s Laughing At Me”- Teddy Pendergrass
8. “Everybody Knows”- John Legend
9. “Ex-Factor”- Lauryn Hill
Stage 3: Raging Fury/Vindictive Thoughts
Sometimes a guy’s ridiculous behavior makes you want to do something to catch a case. We certainly do not condone any type of physical violence to people or property. Instead of doing anything that might lead to an appearance on “Lockup,” belt out the lyrics to these songs to let your aggression free.
10. “Bust Your Windows”- Jazmine Sullivan
11. “Hope She Cheats On You”- Marsha Ambrosius
12. “Fawk You”- Cee Lo Green
13. “Oughta Know”- Alanis Morrisette
Stage 4: The Ex Is Back
It’s some kind of metaphysical law that ex-boyfriends always appear when you are very happy with your new beau and when you are very unhappy with your new beau. What you do with his re-appearance in your life is up to you. D’Angelo (Where have you been?) has THE perfect song for that getting back with your ex stage. Now, you’re very vulnerable in this stage, so don’t do anything rash. That man is probably an ex for a good reason.
I wondered all this time bout how u been
and I hoped by chance id see you once again
I’d love to 2 kiss your lips baby once again
~”One Mo’ Gin,” D’Angelo~
Stage 5: Getting Back Level Headed Confidence
Now that you’ve let out some anger and perhaps a little pent up sexual frustration, you can get back to a more balanced mind state. You can look at this break up for what it is—an opportunity to learn and grow.
Fact of life (so sad but true)
Love can often hurt you
Leaving scars most of your life (nightmares can haunt you)
But fairytales of love, can come true
Both play tricks on your mind
~”Give It Up, Turn It Loose,” En Vogue~
15. “Give It Up Turn It Loose”- En Vogue
16. “Ms. Stress”- Floetry
17. “A Rose is Still A Rose”- Aretha Franklin
Stage 6: Finally, Doing You
Yes! You’re so done with that man. The situation is past tense and you’re ready to truly step back into your life. Maybe (hopefully) you’ll settle into singledom for a while or maybe you already found a new man and he’s no rebound, but the real deal. Whatever you’ve decided, you have your life back. Congratulations!
I’m taking my freedom,
Putting it in my stroll,
I’ll be high-steppin’ y’all,
Letting the joy unfold
~”Golden,” Jill Scott~
18. “Golden”- Jill Scott
19. “Free” -Destiny’s Child
20. “Single Ladies”- Beyonce
21. “In Love Under New Management”– Miki Howard
Truth be told you could bypass that whole list and just listen to Erykah Badu’s not one but TWO 10-minute tracks dealing with break ups. She’s outrageously fly.
Never knew that love could hurt like this
Never thought I would but I got dissed
Makes me feel so sad and hurt inside
Feel embarrased so I want to hide
~”Green Eyes,” Erykah Badu~
“Green Eyes” –Erykah Badu
“Out My Mind, Just In Time” –Erykah Badu
All I hear is raindrops falling on the rooftop
Oh baby, tell me why’d you have to go
‘Cause this pain I feel it won’t go away
And today I’m officially missin’ you
~”Officially Missing You,” Tamia~
“Officially Missing You”- Tamia
“Wake Up Alone”- Amy Winehouse
“Bye, Bye”- Guy
“I’m Done”- Tweet
“My Love”- Mary J. Blige
What songs help you get through those hellish break-ups?
