The 100% Guaranteed Way to Make Any Man Love You

So you finally got a man worth a damn. No more crying into your martini glass with your girls at Friday night happy hour.  No more doing unnatural things with your body pillow at night. You got a real life man, girl! Congratulations!  Now all you have to do is make that man love you. Men don’t just fall in love like women do, most times they need a little shove. Here are 10 ways to send him over the edge…of the cliff of love.

1. Call and/or text him at least 15 times a day.
Blow his phone up everyday.  Call or text him every time you think about him. This way he knows you love him and that you are attentive.  Those are two things that men look for in the future mothers of their children.

2. Check his text and phone logs as often as possible.
Sometimes men don’t know how trifling other women are. Help him out by making sure all his texts to and from women are appropriate. Check the call log to make sure no woman is calling too much. This is for his benefit.  He’s such a nice guy you wouldn’t want some loose woman to get the wrong idea just because your man has manners.

3. E-thug on all of his female friends on social networking sites.
Girls think they’re slick.  Don’t let any of the women in his social networking circle say inappropriate things like “How are you?” (With his woman that’s how he is!) or do unnecessary things like post innocent looking pictures of him from an office party (She’s probably claiming him on her page).  Nip all of that in the bud. If you have to get into a virtual screaming match on his page, so be it. He will appreciate that you are willing to fight for your man.

4. Show up at his job unannounced.
Your man was probably just thinking about you anyway, so it’s no big deal to surprise him on the job.  If he loves you or is on his way to loving you, he will want to see you 24 hours a day. If you want, you can bring him lunch, but the main thing is to introduce yourself to all of your co-workers. Your man will like that you are involving yourself in every aspect of his life.

5. Expect him to read your mind.
Cry uncontrollably when he does something that makes you mad. Do not tell him why you are mad, but instead repeat “I can’t believe you!” If you don’t tell him exactly what’s wrong, he will be forced to understand that you two are so close, such true blue soulmates, that he can actually read you mind. Over time his mind reading abilities will grow stronger.

6. Tell him all about the mind blowing sex you had with your ex-boyfriend.
If it’s one thing guys love, it’s competition.  When you tell him about how great you had it with your ex, he will understand that you gave that up for him and that he should be grateful.  He will pull out all the stops to keep you happy and with him.

7. Forbid him from having any female friends.
Girls are trouble. Any women other than you who are not in his family cannot be trusted. Similar to the e-thugging, your man will appreciate that you care enough to intervene on his behalf.  Say whatever you need to say to let those women know that their physical safety is more important than being friends with your pooh bear.

8. Follow him when he’s out with his friends.
Rescue him! Sometimes his friends will force him away from you and make him hang out at all hours of the night. He would much rather be with you than his smelly ol’ friends. He will be very glad to see you show up at the club. Go get your man!

10. Break up with him on occasion for basically no reason.
Guys love the thrill of the chase.  They get bored if nothing is happening in the relationship. Keep his interest in you going by breaking up with him from time to time. Don’t explain it, just do it. Go back  while he’s still missing you and before one of his so-called female “friends” goes looking to comfort him.

THAT, is how you make a man love you.  Don’t you agree? Do you have other suggestions on how to make a man love you?