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Are you being too picky? Is this simply a transitional phase in your relationship? Are you PMSing? These are all perfectly normal questions to ask yourself when you’re feeling less-than-great about your relationship. Nobody wants to fall out of love. We fear it so much, that we’ll make an excuse for every single broken thing in our relationship (even when literally every single part of that relationship is broken) to keep up the facade that things are fine. But sometimes you just can’t deny that you have or are falling out of love. And the sooner you face it, the sooner you can move on and fall back in love with somebody new!

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You feel it in your bones

Usually, before your or your partner’s behavior even changes, or before you can form a negative thought about your relationship, your body begins to ache a little around your partner, or at the thought of him. Your body often knows before you do when somebody is no good for you.

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You get anxiety before seeing him

Since you either consciously or subconsciously know things are on the decline, it feels uncomfortable to be around your man because you have to, to some extent, pretend that you don’t know what you know. You have to pretend everything is status quo, until you further understand things. And the prospect of doing that causes you anxiety.

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When he begins to speak, what you feel is not good

You might feel immediately on the defense, ready for a fight, like you’re about to get into trouble, or you just feel like you’re waiting for him to be done talking. Either way, you cringe a little when his mouth opens.

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Indifference

What used to anger you doesn’t even stir up a feeling in you anymore. You don’t care enough to even argue. Hatred isn’t good, but it’s better than indifference because hatred can only exist where love still does. Once you feel nothing about the fact your relationship isn’t that great, you really are out of love.

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You compare every guy to your boyfriend

The mailman sure does say “hello” in a cheerier voice than your boyfriend does. The waiter has a much better sense of humor than your boyfriend. Your boss is so much more patient than your boyfriend. Every guy is an opportunity to criticize your boyfriend.

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Your relationship is all you want to talk about

And finally, when you know in your heart of hearts it is over, you just want to hear it from everybody else. You seek affirmation that yes—the relationship is no good, from everyone. You want to blab about your fights to any ear that will listen, and you really want them to tell you your relationship should end.