Secondary virginity, taking a vow of celibacy, whatever you want to call it—giving up the p-word—for a while can be a good thing. This course of action is not for punitive measures. Don’t take a sudden interest in shelving the goods just because your snooky boo boo has been getting on your nerves lately. Rather, only take the road of secondary virginity and maybe even hitting pause on dating altogether if you’re ready for a change, some introspection. Here are a few benefits of giving up the magic stick (for a little while).
Getting Some Business
When you remove the option of getting freaked down and/or being courted, you’ll find that you have some “extra” time on your hands. Those minutes or hours spent every week waiting on phone calls, spending absurd amounts of time preparing for dates and just generally cupcaking, can be spent on a wide variety of productive pursuits. Yoga, meditation and job-hunting are just a few things that could fill up that time. Settle into good habits. When you do decide to get back on the scene, you’ll already have set priorities and feel a little less pressed about gobbling up that man’s time.
Higher Standards
After spending all that time on yourself and getting a deeper understanding of how to make a better you, you’ll be a tad more selective about who gets to take up your time. You’ve discovered that you can run a half-marathon, you can put in the hours to get that promotion and you can find the time and money to do an all-girls trip every year. You’re gonna want a man who has his stuff together too. That doesn’t mean having a checklist with hard and fast “rules” with certain income requirements and all that, but just being able to recognize when a guy can truly appreciate who you are and what you offer a relationship.
Learning Your Body
Substitutions are allowed during secondary virginity! Toys, movies, Hot underwear—have fun with it. Figure out what you like on your own time with your own hands. You’ll be better able to give the next man explicit instructions on what moves you. Knowing how to give yourself the big O and generally make yourself feel good will bestow you with loads of confidence inside and outside of the bedroom. And as we all know, for men and women, confidence is one of the sexiest characteristics in a potential mate.
