One of my favorite parts of the hilarious movie ‘Next Friday’ occurs when Day-Day (the very funny Mike Epps) and Roach (the late Justin Pierce) find themselves in a tough situation among a group of Hispanic “thugs”– the Jokers. Immediately, Day-Day begins singing Whodini’s classic song, “Friends,” to appease the situation. To his dismay, the “thugs” become agitated and one of the Jokers hilariously stated, “Shut up, I don’t even like Whodini.”
Whether you like the classic hip-hop song by Whodini or not, we all need to identify and move past the toxic people in our lives and embrace our true friends. For many individuals, though, it is relatively difficult to distinguish who their real friends are. Although this is not an all-inclusive list, here are five ways to assess those in your everyday microcosm to determine if they really are your true friend:
A friend consistently provides “soul food” and encouragement. One of the primary indicators of a friend is the consistent, timely and selfless offering of encouragement and “soul food”- that is, positive words of life to feed the soul and the spirit. A friend is not only a cheerleader but also someone who will help build you up as you both strive toward new levels and horizons.
A friend has seen you in the valley and still loves you. A mark of a true friend is the ability to see you at your worst and to still make the decision to love you. Every single individual has had times where they have made mistakes and operated in a way that evades their best. A friend will stop by, pick you up and exhibit selfless love because they can still see the best in you, when others see the worst in you and decide to walk past you in the valley.
A friend is honest and continually holds you accountable. Although a friend will offer continual encouragement and “soul food,” they also are not afraid to tell you the truth and to hold you accountable when they perceive that you are trying to drift from the mountaintop to the valley. Although their honest criticism may prove somewhat painful, their persistent accountability is priceless.
A friend will stick by your side when the “going” gets tough. When trials, tragedies, disappointments and grief arise, a friend will stick by your side until the blues of life dissipate away. It’s relatively easy for people to by your side when they perceive you to be “balling” and on the mountaintop. But, a friend will be right there with you through all of the various phases and seasons of life.
A friend is someone you can depend on- even in the middle of the night. Oftentimes, there are times when life weighs heavily on your heart and you cannot sleep. Or, you awaken to a telephone call with bad news or the cry of a loved one in the middle of the night. A friend is one that you can call without hesitation in the wee hours, and they will provide words of peace and comfort. Moreover, they won’t be mad that you called them.
