If You’ve Got Nothing Nice To Say…! 5 Reasons Why Silence Is Sometimes The Best Policy

1. Don’t Talk…Just Listen.

Ever notice that the words silent and listen have the same letters? Maybe there’s a point there. It’s kind of hard to understand where someone is coming from if you’re always popping off at the mouth ranting and raving, not giving the other person a chance to explain their point of view. Even if you don’t agree with what the other person is saying, listening lets them know that you value their opinion and that their feelings are valid, even if you disagree. This way, no one can ever say that you didn’t allow them to get their point across.

After you let him speak, tell him that you heard him…and then walk away to think about it. Decide if what you’re arguing about is worth getting upset over, and let it go. If you can’t, bring it up at another time when you both have had a chance to cool down. Words tend to get lost in a crowd of emotions and differing opinions where both feel that the loudest person wins. So don’t say anything, and let the other person have the floor. Once you give someone the courtesy of hearing them out, they should be willing to do the same in return.

2. Words Unspoken Don’t Have to be Taken Back

If you keep your mouth shut when you’re angry or upset, you’ll never say anything that you’ll regret or that you’ll have to take back. In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to say things that you don’t mean. If you care about the person that you’re having a disagreement with, it’s actually a good thing that you prefer to be silent rather than push buttons or hit below the belt in order to be hurtful. Being silent isn’t always a sign that you don’t love or care for the other person, but quite the opposite – because it means you care enough to quiet the confrontation before it gets out of hand.

3. Breathe

Sometimes giving someone the silent treatment gives you a chance to calm yourself, especially if you know you’re the confrontational type. This is a way for you to change the way you react to uncomfortable situations. If you usually are impulsive, combative or argumentative, your partner may not be receptive if you try to have a contentious conversation. By deciding to walk away and keep quiet, you can take as much time as you need to decompress, bring your blood pressure down and gather your thoughts. Once you re-think the issue, you may find yourself in a better state of mind to deal with the issue – or you may discover that what you’re upset about isn’t worth giving yourself a heart attack over.

4. Silence Is a Sign of Self Control

Believe it or not, sometimes NOT arguing gives you the upper hand. Not in a power play sort of way, but in a strategic way. If you want to get under the skin of a person who likes to argue…don’t argue with them. Don’t let someone bait you into an argument, or coax you to get out of character. That’s what he or she wants you to do, and nothing irks them more than a person who doesn’t fall into their trap. You can “win” the argument by strategically deciding to ignore someone who is trying to provoke you. Your instinct may be to stand up and defend yourself but by opting to ignore someone who wants to dominate, you become the unlikely winner because you’re not giving the other person all of your power. Petty? Perhaps but doesn’t it make total sense?

5. Silence Speaks Volumes

Sometimes not saying anything sends the message you’re trying to get across louder and clearer than any words you can think of. When two people are fighting, it’s usually a war of words that don’t go anywhere, because both people want to be right and they want their opinions validated. Sometimes in an argument, the other person is anticipating what you’re going to say simply so they can give their rebuttal. This will be harder to do if you simply don’t say anything. This keeps them guessing, wondering what your thought process is while taking away the struggle. In the process, your silence may cause the other person to examine his own words and actions. By being silent, your significant other may discover the error of his ways if he sees that you’re not engaging in a petty argument – and it can also send the message that you care enough about the relationship to find a peaceful, non-confrontational resolution.