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When it comes to dating and relationships, there are no rules. While traditional gender roles suggest that men should be the aggressors and approach a woman they’re interested in, women are becoming more bold in going after what they want – and getting it! Who says you have to wait for that cute guy you’ve made eye contact with to come over to you first? Go talk to him! Okay, okay, easier said than done, but you may be missing out on a number of dating possibilities simply because you’re shy, stubborn or afraid of rejection. Some men can be just as nervous and shy as women can, so help the guy out a bit and at least meet him half way. Not sure how to do that? Here are a few suggestions to get you started.
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1. Simply Smile, Make Eye Contact…and/or Say Hello
Sometimes all a man needs to make the first move is to know that you’re interested or that you won’t read him the riot act if he steps to you. If you appear happy and approachable, men who find you attractive will probably feel more comfortable coming over and striking up a conversation with you. A flirty glance, a friendly smile or simply saying hello may be all that’s necessary to get him going, and he’ll take it from there. After all, who wants to talk to the girl with the gas face? Smile, be happy and men will want to get to know you.
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2. Compliment Him
So you’re on the train, and you see a guy dressed to the nines. He’s put together from head to toe, from his tie down to his shoes. Don’t just admire him from afar, tell him how fly you think he is. I don’t know anyone who isn’t receptive to a sincere compliment, unless they’re just miserable for no good reason. Be specific. Tell him how nice his shoes are, or how well they pull his entire look together. Tell him he has a gorgeous smile and that his teeth are perfect or that his dimples give him a boyish charm that you find adorable. But whatever you do, be genuine. People can spot a fake a mile away, and know when you’re just searching for something to say versus actually meaning what you say. Once you have his attention by complimenting him, if he finds you equally as attractive, he may respond with a few compliments of his own.
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3. Ask for the Time…or Directions
Men love to feel needed or helpful, so find a reason to need his assistance on something…anything. If he simply answers you and then keeps going about his merry way without so much as a second look at you, then either you didn’t smile, flirt, or make your interest known convincingly enough, or he’s simply not that into you. But if he goes out of his way to give you an intricate response, or offers to walk you to your destination, then you’ve got him. Thank him for his help and offer to buy him coffee as a way to show him how appreciative you are.
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4. Ask Him About The Game
This would assume that you are in a sports bar or restaurant where the game is on, and he’s actually into it. If the object of your affection is watching the game intently and he’s not with a gang of friends, then you may be able to make your move by showing interest in the game by asking him something about it. Don’t ask him something obvious like the score, because they show that on the screen (unless it’s halftime or something). Ask him something that’ll really get him talking, like explaining a ruling on the field or the difference between encroachment, off sides or a false start. If that’s way over your head, simply ask him who his favorite team or player is, and ask why. And LISTEN to his answer. Even if sports isn’t really your thing, appear interested so that he will be interested in YOU. Just make sure you wait until the commercial to ask him about the game so he doesn’t miss anything or look at you like a bugaboo.
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5. Send Him a Drink
This may seem bold, and you might be one of those women who doesn’t believe in buying drinks for a man, but this is as clear as it gets when showing someone your interest. This can go one of a few ways. If he’s a gentleman, he’ll come over to you to thank you for the gesture, introduce himself and return the favor. This way you can introduce YOURSELF to him, flirt some more and the conversation should just flow from there. If he’s not interested, he should still come over to thank you for the drink, and maybe you can charm him into taking a second look. Or if he’s not interested AND he doesn’t come over to thank you, then you dodged a bullet because he’s a jerk and you can look at it as charity and keep it moving. The last scenario shouldn’t be an issue though, because if you refer back to #1, you’ve already smiled and made eye contact to establish if he’d be open to receiving a drink or not.
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6. Ask Friends to Introduce You
If you are simply afraid to approach a man in any capacity, you may need some help. If you’re out at a party or a group setting, and the guy who tickles your fancy is alone, or appears to be single, ask your mutual friend(s) to hook you up! Get the 411 on him first (do they still say 411?), do your homework to find out his relationship status and a little more about him before you decide if he’s someone you’re still interested in. If he checks out, ask your friend to make a casual introduction or put in a good word for you. This way, it’s not so serious or nerve-racking, or your friends can gauge if his interest is mutual and save you trouble if he isn’t. Either way, you’re out to have fun; and there’s nothing wrong with having fun meeting new people. Keep it light and see where it can go from there. Baby steps.
