FogstockEveryone has found themselves in a hurtful, disastrous or even simply confusing relationship a time or two in their lives. If you’re fortunate and wise enough, you learn from past relationship mistakes and grow from them. But for others, heart breaks happen over and over again because they repeat these mistakes, even when there are overpowering signs that their destructive behaviors are sabotaging any chances of a happy partnership. It’s bad relationship karma, and if you think the Love Gods have turned their backs on you, maybe it’s because you are attracting what you are…and life is mirroring what you are portraying or putting out into the Universe. If you’re not happy with the way your relationships have been going and you think the energy you’re giving isn’t giving you anything back, here are some ways to improve your relationship karma…and possibly get you the love you want.
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Be Faithful
This may seem like simple advice, but you’d be surprised how many people think cheating is no big deal, or that if they don’t get caught and their partner never finds out (even after a breakup) then it wasn’t really cheating. Wrong. When you’re lying and being deceitful, it torments your soul and diminishes who you are, so it’s no wonder you’d attract someone who is just as unfaithful and dishonest as you are. When you lie, you think everyone is lying to you, and when you cheat, you become paranoid thinking that someone must be creeping around on you too. You can’t make wise decisions when you doubt everyone…and yourself. By being honest and faithful, you honor yourself – therefore respecting yourself – and when you respect yourself, you make better choices in a mate.
iStockphotoDon’t Date Unavailable/Married Men
How many times have you heard a man or woman say, “If he/she were handling their business at home, then he/she wouldn’t be coming to me”? It’s a selfish mindset used to justify cheating, even if you aren’t the one in a marriage or a committed relationship. If you think he or she is going to leave their spouse for you, or that knowingly engaging in this type of behavior will find you the love you’re looking for, then chances are you’re a bit delusional and self-absorbed if you feel you won’t suffer the same fate. Think about how you’d feel if you were cheated on, and the other woman knew about you. Even though the onus of being faithful should be on the one who is actually IN the committed relationship, you bear responsibility as well…to yourself. You reap what you sow, so respect and uphold your own honor, and find your own man who will love you…and only you.
iStockphotoBe Kind…Even In a Breakup
No one likes to be dumped, and if you’ve ever been on the receiving end of a breakup, you know it’s not pleasant. Yet there is a way to keep your dignity, whether you’re the one being dumped…or doing the dumping. If you’re the one doing the dumping, be kind, polite and honest about why you feel the relationship isn’t working anymore. Give your (now) ex the courtesy and respect to do it face to face, directly, but with compassion. Think about how you’d like to be treated in this situation, and then do the same. And if you are the one being dumped, take it with grace, forgive and move on. This way there is no bad energy hovering over you and you won’t take any unresolved or bitter feelings into your next relationship.
And whatever you do, don’t bad mouth your ex. It may feel good at the time, especially if your heart is broken, but it’s unnecessary and it’s childish. You’re just lowering yourself to a level that is so unattractive that no one wants to be around you. Who wants to date the bitter ex? No one. If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all. When you treat folks how you want to be treated, the Universe will respond in kind.
FogStockBe Happy For Others
Sometimes it’s hard to be happy for other couples in love when you’re miserably single. But being a Debbie Downer turns her nose up to love and hates on the co-worker who got flowers for Valentine’s Day isn’t going to win any cool points with the powers that be in the love department. So instead of hating on your best friend because she’s all hugged on her man and talking about them behind her back, celebrate the fact that your bestie has a good man who loves her. Encourage those who want and believe in love, and cheer them on when they find it. Your time will come if the good vibes keep flowing. Be an advocate for love, and love will find you.
FogstockBe the Love You Want
How can you truly be happy and in love if you don’t love or see a healthy image of yourself? It’s impossible. Perhaps you haven’t found the partner you want because you haven’t done the work necessary on yourself to actually BE the mate you want to attract. Instead of tearing others down, or finding fault with every guy you come in contact with, take a look at yourself and see where there are areas you can improve to be a better, more attractive you. Many people want what they are not, and can’t understand why they don’t get it. Until you begin to think, believe and behave like the person who has all that you desire, you’ll never attract that person to you.
