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Men are always saying women talk too much. They don’t really mean it: they love us. When it comes to the basics—our career, our feelings, our wellbeing—the good guys do want to know. So where does the notion that women talk too much come from? This.

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It’s a double standard but it’s how men feel: they say the bathroom is “man territory.” They can make jokes like, “You don’t want to go in there for ten minutes” or “That Mexican food is making a comeback” but from you, all they want to hear is a delicate, “I’m going to the bathroom.”

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Other guys hitting on you

If you wrap the story up with, “But I turned him down because I’m so in love with my boyfriend!” that’s fine. But there are some things your boyfriend doesn’t need to know. Did you dance with another guy all night at your friend’s birthday party? Was there any actual attraction there? If not, your boyfriend just doesn’t need to know. It’s harmless.

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Past boyfriends part I

He doesn’t want to hear any story about something fun you and your ex did, or some great day you two had, or something you both experienced that made you laugh so hard. He doesn’t want to picture you happy with somebody else.

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Past boyfriends part II

Believe it or not, your new guy also doesn’t want to hear you hating on your old guy. Hate and love mingle too closely and if you’re still venting about an ex, your new guy can’t help but wonder if you still have feelings for him.

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All your other married friends

It doesn’t matter how many friends changed their Facebook status to “engaged” this week. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve been a bridesmaid this year. It certainly doesn’t matter how many cute baby pics your new mom friend texted you. As soon as you start talking about those things to your guy, all he hears is, “She wants to marry and be a mom now!”

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What you tell your friend’s boyfriend

It may feel like a safe zone when just chatting with your friend’s boyfriend, but most guys do not want to ever picture another guy having sex. So, ask for all the dating advice you want. But do not ask for sex advice from a male friend.