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Men are always saying women talk too much. They don’t really mean it: they love us. When it comes to the basics—our career, our feelings, our wellbeing—the good guys do want to know. So where does the notion that women talk too much come from? This.
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The consensus from most men is, they don’t need to know how bad your bloating, cramps or cravings are. They just need to know that you’re on your period. And you know why.
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It’s a double standard but it’s how men feel: they say the bathroom is “man territory.” They can make jokes like, “You don’t want to go in there for ten minutes” or “That Mexican food is making a comeback” but from you, all they want to hear is a delicate, “I’m going to the bathroom.”
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There’s a fine line between caring, and nagging, and men are very sensitive to that line. If the issue doesn’t directly affect your relationship, or at least not much, then don’t say anything about it.
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Do you find it attractive when a man is lacking in confidence and criticizes himself? Exactly. Men find it just as off-putting when women are down on themselves.
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Other guys hitting on you
If you wrap the story up with, “But I turned him down because I’m so in love with my boyfriend!” that’s fine. But there are some things your boyfriend doesn’t need to know. Did you dance with another guy all night at your friend’s birthday party? Was there any actual attraction there? If not, your boyfriend just doesn’t need to know. It’s harmless.
Details about his member
This one’s not what you share with him but what you share with others: men are sensitive about their member! They don’t want you sharing any details about it with anybody outside the relationship.
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Past boyfriends part I
He doesn’t want to hear any story about something fun you and your ex did, or some great day you two had, or something you both experienced that made you laugh so hard. He doesn’t want to picture you happy with somebody else.
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Past boyfriends part II
Believe it or not, your new guy also doesn’t want to hear you hating on your old guy. Hate and love mingle too closely and if you’re still venting about an ex, your new guy can’t help but wonder if you still have feelings for him.
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All your other married friends
It doesn’t matter how many friends changed their Facebook status to “engaged” this week. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve been a bridesmaid this year. It certainly doesn’t matter how many cute baby pics your new mom friend texted you. As soon as you start talking about those things to your guy, all he hears is, “She wants to marry and be a mom now!”
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Self-criticisms
“I’m bloated.” “My hair looks like a rats nest today.” “My face looks like a crater.” He didn’t notice any of your imperfections until you pointed them out. And he didn’t want to notice them.
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“It’s too hot.” “It’s too cold.” “It’s too loud.” “The waiter is weird looking.” Unless you truly need something to be done about it, don’t complain about it.
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What you tell your friend’s boyfriend
It may feel like a safe zone when just chatting with your friend’s boyfriend, but most guys do not want to ever picture another guy having sex. So, ask for all the dating advice you want. But do not ask for sex advice from a male friend.
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His passions
He doesn’t want to hear how you feel about Star Wars, Hot Tub Time Machine, Call of Duty, or beer pong. Those are part of the “man realm” and aren’t subject to your opinions.
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The Kardashians
Or whatever show you watch. He doesn’t want to hear about the twists in the plot that day. He doesn’t want to hear about how you relate to the character. He doesn’t want to hear about how the couple in it has made you contemplate your own relationship. If it’s not something that happened in real life, he doesn’t take it seriously.
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