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16 Signs You're a Crazy Lover

Love Lockdown: 16 Signs You’re a Crazy Lover - Page 17

Published on September 10, 2010

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by China Okasi & Danielle Kwateng

There’s a thin line between passion and crazy. But you’re not crazy, right? Just passionate. Passionate about your catch of a partner. This slide show is for those who are super psychotic passionate about their significant other, but may be at risk of having a criminal record. We hate to use the word “crazy,” but at a certain point your sanity may be questioned.

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ACTION: You wake up one day and decide you’re going to be a surgeon. Only thing is…your first patient is your alcoholic, cheating lover who is unaware that he or she will be “going under the knife.”

VERDICT: Just say no to the knife.

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ACTION: After leaving your house, your lover doesn’t call to let you know: “hey, I reached home OK!” So naturally, you drive over, with a flashlight and look through the windows to see if your lover is home.

VERDICT: You’re nuts.

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ACTION: You practice your parallel parking skills at 8 a.m. in the morning, anddrive over your significant other— 20 times.

VERDICT: You need to not do that.

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ACTION: You use social media (i.e. ‘the Twitter’ and ‘the Facebook’) to rake through all your lover’s photos and count how many times your lover wore the shirt you bought for his or her birthday.

VERDICT: You’re nuts.

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ACTION: Expressing your love is something you can’t help–and that’s okay, unless  you’re a bitter mistress expressing yourself with a 15″ billboard in Times Square.

VERDICT: You’re crazy.

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ACTION: Along with your lover’s email and Facebook passwords, you demand to have your lover’s bank account and social security number…just in case something happens.

VERDICT: You have lost your mind (and uhm…you’re a tad possessive. Just a tad).

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ACTION: All of your family and friends know everything about your lover and you’ve only gone on two dates.

VERDICT: Chill. You’re doing too much.

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ACTION: After a fight, you enjoy detailing your lover’s car with your keys.

VERDICT: You need Jesus.

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ACTION: You’re a huge fan of Jazmine Sullivan and take her song, “Bust Your Windows” a little too much to heart.

VERDICT: Listen to a C.D. with nature sounds instead. Please don’t be crazy and deranged.

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ACTION: All of your lover’s co-workers know you. Sometimes you even sit in on staff meetings. Why? Because you regularly make impromptu visits to your lover’s job, unannounced.

VERDICT: Security!!!!!!

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ACTION: You come from the school of thought that says that repeating one action, over and over again, will yield results. That’s why you call your lover back to back.

VERDICT: You’re a bug-a-boo. (And you are extra crazy).

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ACTION: You use suicide as a cry for help, when all you need is a hug (or divorce papers signed).

VERDICT: We love you, so…please stop it ‘mmkay?

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ACTION: Like a headache or indigestion, you claim pregnancy at the drop of a hat for his attention.

VERDICT: Not only are you bat-flying crazy, you’re straight up TRIFLING and we hope you get a life, rather than pretending you and your lover just made one!

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ACTION: You throw tantrums–like ALL the time. Someone must have not told you that biting, kicking and screaming is not appropriate unless there are bed sheets involved.

VERDICT: LOL. Again, unless there are bed sheets involved…

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ACTION: You call everyone in your lover’s Rolodex (which you stole) to find out from them why your lover is not calling you after you two have clearly broken up.

VERDICT: Let. It. Go…

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ACTION: After your crazy ex-lover threatens your family, stalks you, gets a restraining order from you, along with 11 misdemeanor charges for stalking– you leave your spouse & marry your stalker.

VERDICT: The BOTH of you are crazy and deserve each other. Clearly.

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